


You Can’t Stop the Empire

by Cryosic



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game)
Genre: Brainwashing, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Love rectangle, Obsession, Possessive Behavior, Stockholm Syndrome, They’re all probably OOC, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:21:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24627709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cryosic/pseuds/Cryosic
Summary: After defeating the Ninth Sister Cal is captured on Kashyyyk and held captive on Nur
Relationships: Cal Kestis/Merrin, Cal Kestis/Original Female Character(s), Cal Kestis/Trilla Suduri | Second Sister
Comments: 61
Kudos: 98





	1. Fortress Inquisitorius

He struggled to open his eyes, his eyelids felt heavy and gritty like his eyes had been sandblasted. He groaned as he tried to sit up before a pounding pain accompanied by a wave of dizziness hit him. He finally got his eyes open. Though some part of him wished he had kept them closed, a harsh red light reflected off the hexagonal walls. The cold metal grating chilling his skin even through his clothes. The other thing he noticed was the intense cold, he was shivering violently. Was he dead? Was this some sort of hell? He crawled forward towards a humming red ray shield that closed him off from a larger room. He looked around, there were perhaps a dozen cells he could see, and at least two floors. Where was he?

“Cal Kestis, you’re finally awake.” The voice spoke from his left outside his cell, he recognized the smooth cadence.

“Trilla?” She stalked into his line of sight her movements as fluid as always. They held the lethal grace of a apex predator.

“I must say I’m surprised you were able to defeat the Ninth Sister, she was always a little brutish for my taste but she was still a excellent fighter.” He got a flash of their duel in his head her final words to him before he pushed her from the tree.

“Of course you are always quite unpredictable, but it seems you have run out of tricks.” He kept his mouth closed as he remembered what happened, she had been waiting for him caught him totally off guard and beat him. 

“Now the true fun begins. You will be shaped into a wonderful inquisitor. I’m sure of it.” She called something else but cal wasn’t listening, he knew what was to come, torture they would break him into pieces and then put him back together in a twisted corrupted copy of his previous self. 

The Ray shields deactivated but before he could act two purge troopers entered his cell and shocked him. As he screamed they picked him up and placed some form of collar around his neck. They shoved him back to the floor of his cell before one of them kicked him. He reached out towards the force to push them away but before anything happened an agonizing pain shout through him, it made his vision go dark and his body seized up. He writhed on the floor for a few seconds before the pain went away. 

He felt someone kneel next him.

“I wouldn’t try to use the force with that collar on, it can be quite agonizing.” Trilla laughed as she stood up and sauntered out of the cell before the ray shield was reactivated. 

Cal curled into a ball, hugging his legs to his body to conserve as much body heat as he could. His body ached after the shock and his throat burned from his scream. 

He stayed curled in that same spot for hours until he finally slipped into unconsciousness.


	2. Isolation

He was awoken by being doused in freezing cold water. He gasped and spluttered trying to catch his breath when he was suddenly being dragged away from his cell. He struggled in the arms of two purge troopers before getting punched in the jaw. Stars filled his eyes he tried to blink them away to no avail. 

He was roughly dragged into a white room with drains, he was held still as a trooper cut away all of his clothing. 

“What the hell!” He was thrown onto the hard tiles. He landed on a knee and elbow and pain lanced up the two limbs. As he turned he heard a squeak and then he got hit in the side by a sudden pressure. More freezing cold water doused his body in a never ending torrent. The high pressure water bruised his body as the troopers sprayed him. Occasionally altering the trajectory of the hose towards his face before returning to his body leaving him gasping for breath and trying to clear his nostrils of the water. The water shut off with a second squeak and the room was silent but for his ragged breathing and the sound of water draining. A click of boots warned him of her approach.

“Well Cal now that you’re clean how do you feel?” He didn’t respond but he did try to cover his body from her cold gaze.

“Oh Cal don’t be so modest. We aren’t in the Jedi Temple.” He voice was rich with mockery even through her modulator.

“Bring him to the Isolation Chamber.” Rough gloved hands picked him up again dragging him around. Every step hurt his feet from the rough grates that covered the floor. They eventually stopped in front of a wall with a single hatch on it. They opened the hatch and pushed him towards it. He braced his hands against the opening trying to hold himself out before he was shocked again. When his body started convulsing they threw him through the hole. He hit the ground with a dull clang. Trilla stood on the opening staring down at him through her mask.

“Remeber the more compliant you are the easier this will be.” Suddenly the hatch closed and Cal was plunged into a darkness he’d never experienced before.

He felt around him trying to get his bearings he shuffled across the floor for a few seconds before finding a a wall. Perfectly smooth and uniform. He followed it to a corner and then another wall just as flawless as the first. He did this several times before realizing he had gone in circles for several minutes. The room wasn’t large but it was featureless. He sat down and the cold surface almost hurt against his naked body. He knew if he reached out to feel the force he’d be shocked. He tried to close his eyes but realized it was pointless. It was as dark with them open or closed. 

The darkness was oppressive, closing in on him. He suddenly felt claustrophobic, which was strange for him, having crawled through areas barely big enough for him to squeeze through. He stayed in one spot unable to move for a long time he had no idea how long he stayed there. After a while he felt like he was spinning he didn’t know what way was up anymore. The only sound he could hear was his own breathing and heartbeat and even that seemed muffled. 

Time had lost all meaning he felt weak, he hadn’t eaten since kashyyyk which felt like years ago but he knew that couldn’t be right. A human could only survive for a few weeks without eating, but how long was a few weeks when he had no reference of the passing of time. He tried counting. He lost count around ten thousand so he started again and again and again. He had counted into the tens of thousands so many times he had lost count of them. He guessed it didn’t really matter he would die of dehydration before starving anyways.

He was having trouble remembering what his friends looked like Cere was older and had dark skin. But he wouldn’t picture her face. What was the small one with lots of arms? Green? No that wasn’t right Greez! It was Greez. Then there was BD who was a robot,something that sat on his shoulder. Why was it so hard to remember anything. He grabbed his hair and started to pull on it.

He became aware of another sense when he lifted his arms. He smelled horrible, it almost made him gag. He was almost glad he hadn’t eaten in Maker only knows how long. But he was thirsty, very thirsty. His lips were cracked and bleeding suddenly he heard a sound that wasn’t made by him. It was a trickling. He followed the sound and found a wall. He crawled head first into it and as he was rubbing his head his hand came away wet. He felt around the wall discovering a trickle of water. He wasn’t sure where it came from or where it went but he didn’t care. He drank greedily lapping at the wall and any spot of moisture. His throat was still dry when the water stopped flowing 

“NO! NO!” He banged on the wall. “No.” His own voice scared him, he sounded like some sort of wild animal crying out in pain.

The water cane several more times. Each time he felt worse and worse. His throat had become so dry he wasn’t sure he could swallow anymore. Then the water would come. It lasted two minutes he counted it. The water had come 7 times now and his stomach hurt constantly he was almost sure he was going to die in this dark room. But was that really so bad? He laughed he wasn’t sure why but he kept laughing even though it hurt his throat.

He wasn’t even sure who he was anymore.


	3. Torture

A creak echoed through the room and suddenly He was blinded by light. It took him a few seconds to adjust to the light and even then he was squinting at what felt like a sun.

“Cal Kestis. You look awful.” It took him a minute to understand what she was saying 

“Although I suppose two weeks in sensory deprivation will do that to you.” Two weeks. Two weeks of no food no light and no one else “Are you ready to move to the next stage?” He didn’t move he wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of an answer. She shrugged and moved to close the hatch. 

“Wait! No please Don’t close it.” His panicked voice was weak and almost childlike. 

“Then you must be ready for phase two.” Her voice laced with arrogance made Cal feel more helpless than before.

He nodded slowly.

“Good.” Her voice was almost a purr as she signaled to the gaurds who brought Cal out of the room. He didn’t fight them, he was too weak. They brought him to a cell it may have been the same one from before. They dropped him to the floor. Still at least they didn’t throw him this time. He heard something hit the ground behind him. 

“You must be starving.” He turned around and found a ration pack on the ground. He lunged for the package. He hunched over the food protecting it with his body as he devoured it. Using his hands as utensils shoveling the food into his mouth. It tasted far from good but he would have eaten just about anything at this point. He heard her boots stepping towards him and he flinched away. 

“Oh Cal you poor thing.” She gently stroked his hair he wasn’t sure what she was getting at but he had forgotten how nice it felt to be touched. Her hand shifted to his back he shivered at the feeling of her hand caressing the bare skin of his back. He was suddenly reminded of his lack of clothing. He had finished the food when she stood up. He found himself unconsciously craving her touch as she stood. She walked towards the end of the cell.

“Are you coming.” He didn’t move where was she going. “It’s time for the second phase.” He shivered at her words and he shook his head.

Her sigh sounded like genuine disappointment, it sounded strange because of her modulator. 

“I was hoping you would be more agreeable.” She nodded to the two guards who grabbed Cal. He fought back this time having gained much more energy than he had expected. It didn’t last long, he got hit across the face and then a shock right after. He stopped struggling as they dragged him. It wasn’t long before they brought him before a menacing looking chair. They threw him into the chair and began to strap him down. He immediately felt sick and his head started to hurt. As they finished strapping him in Trilla stepped in front of him. 

“Just like before it will be easier if you don’t fight it.” Suddenly he was being shocked. It was so much worse than his collar. A scream tore through his throat from deep inside of his body. When finally it stopped he hung his head breathing heavily. 

“You have so much potential Cal you just have to accept the truth. The dark side can liberate you.”

“No.” His voice was weak and came out raspy. “I don’t want to.” Once again she sighed heavily. 

“Then you leave me no choice.” He looked up before the electricity raced through his body. 

He felt tears burning in his eyes and sobs building up in his throat. The electricity stopped and he immediately felt a pounding ache in his head. His skin felt raw and itchy, his muscles weak. 

The shocks continued for some time. In between each one Trilla would ask him a question. where was Cere? Where was the Holocron? And the most important of all wasn’t really a question it was a suggestion. Give in. Accept the dark side. Become more powerful than he could ever have imagined. Eventually everything began to blur together Trilla would occasionally leave him in the chair at the mercy of the troopers before returning to ask questions. He began to look forward to seeing her. When she was there he didn’t get shocked and she would often gently caress his face. Brushing aside his sweat soaked hair. She had taken her helmet off and her voice was unmodulated. She was so different than when they had fought. She was so... Gentle. Then as soon as she was gone the electricity would be reactivated. 

After hours she finally came back. 

“Cal, where is the holocron?” Her voice was so gentle almost loving.

His lips moved but no sound came out.

“What?”

“B-Bogano.” He felt hot tears of shame stream down his face. A choked sob escaped his mouth. He had failed his friends. 

“Oh Cal there was nothing you could have done. No one can stop the Empire.” Her hand stroked his face and he leaned unabashedly into her soothing touch.

He felt the straps being loosened from his limbs and he collapsed out of the chair. Right into the arms of The Inquisitor. She held him as he cried. Rambling about how sorry he was. 

She comforted his broken psyche whispering words of comfort to him all the while smiling at his state, how close he was to being built into something great.


	4. Mutilation

“You just have to put it on.” Cal stared at the price of clothing in front of him. It was instantly recognizable as inquisitor armor. He wanted to wear something, anything and here was the chance. He would be warmer, less exposed. But he’d be one step closer to being an inquisitor. 

“Please Trilla I don’t want to.” She looked at him sitting on the ground of his cell the piece of clothing between them. He looked down at his body for some reason ashamed by her gaze. He had lost a lot of weight from his isolation and he was covered in lots of ugly bruising they ranged in their colors there was mostly blue and purple but there was also some yellows and some greenish spots he didn’t want her to look at him like this.

“You know you have to Cal.” He closed his eyes. 

“I don’t want to I don’t want to become an inquisitor.”

“Then we have to convince you, as much as it pains me.” His eyes shot open and he looked up at her shaking his head violently. 

“No please Trilla I can’t do that again.” She smiled down at him. Yet her eyes were cold. We was disappointed in him.

“Oh Cal you don’t have a choice.” Her smooth voice was laced with sorrow. He had forced her hand.

The troopers came into the cell and grabbed him, he didn’t struggle he knew it was pointless.

He spent a very long and painful hour in the chair before they brought him back to the cell his head drooping and his breathing ragged.

“Have you made your decision Cal?” He nodded, submission evident in every line of his body. “Outstanding.” She stood and left the cell. He knew she was pleased with him. Cal stared at the uniform before gingerly putting it on. It was less uncomfortable than he had originally anticipated. He looked down at his new clothes. 

A pair of hands settled on his shoulders. 

“You’ve done so well Cal. I’m very proud of you.” Her voice breathing into his ear caused goosebumps to rise on his skin.

“I feel wrong.” His voice cracked as he spoke

“Shh, just give it some time, you’ll get use to it. It took me a few days too.” She paused as if contemplating. “Besides you look very handsome.” Her words of praise sent a pleasant flush through his body. He blinked back tears at her words. 

“Now, are you ready for phase three.” He Almost shook his head. Almost. But that wasn’t what she wanted.

“Yes.” 

“Good.” Her voice a velvety purr next to his ear.

Trilla guided Cal away from the cell block. He realized there wasn’t a purge trooper dragging him, yet he wouldn’t even think of trying to run away. It would upset Trilla.

She brought him to a large room with large tapestries of the Imperial logo hanging on the walls. The room was also split by a large chasm filled with what looked like magma. 

“This is Phase three.” At her words a purge trooper stepped forward. Instead of the typical electro weapons he carried some type of knives. 

“I don’t understand.” She smiled at his confusion

“This is where you will be reborn. You will fight him. Until one of you is dead.” With that she stepped back and leaned against the wall. He was still staring at her when the purge trooper shouted at him. She wouldn’t let him get hurt would she?

He turned around to find the trooper slashing wildly at him with the knives, he hastily backpedaled trying to avoid being gutted. 

He felt one of the knives catch his arm, ripping through the sleeve and opening a gash on his bicep. He felt more cuts from the trooper as he desperately tried to put more space between them. 

The trooper was merciless, screaming insults at him with each slice of his blade. He realized if he didn’t do something he would die here. He wasn’t strong enough to fight him, so he reached out pushed, he flinched already anticipating the shock. But it never came so he pushed again as the trooper got back into striking range. It went like that for several minutes the trooper cutting, Cal pushing him away and then it all repeated. He felt his energy draining out of his body.

“You won’t be able to push him into submission.” Trilla’s voice rang through the room as Cal fought for his life, he knew she was right. So this time when the trooper closed in Cal reached out. And held. The trooper was lifted into the air and started making pathetic choking sounds. Cal held him there, his hand unconsciously tightening, he squeezed tighter and tighter until there was sharp crack and suddenly the trooper stopped struggling. Cal held him there transfixed by the inert body. Finally he dropped him. The body crumpling on the ground. Cal fell to his knees as he realized what he had done. Blood seeping from the many cuts on his body. 

“Again.” Trilla’s voice punctured the fog in his brain. He looked up to find that another trooper had entered the room and Cal watched him with dazed eyes before standing up and waiting for the trooper to push towards him. He got cut less and less as the fights went on, still by the time it was over his uniform was nearly soaked with blood. The fights became more brutal, the cuts deeper each time. Yet they also became shorter. Cal had killed at least five by the time Trilla called for him to stop. He turned around slowly. Meeting her sharp eyes with his dull lifeless ones. 

“You have done well, how do you feel.” He blinked taking slow deep breaths.

“Empty.” She stood from her relaxed position and closed the distance between them. He had his eyes glued to her shiny boots. Too afraid look at her. Her hand caught the bottom of his chin and titled his face up towards her.

“No you don’t. You feel good, it felt good to hurt them didn’t it? It made you feel strong.” He blinked hard at the sudden tears pricking his eyes. 

“Yes.” He let out a shaky breath, it felt like a part of him died at his realization. But he didn’t want that part of him anymore, and neither would Trilla. He did like it. All of those cuts fueled an anger deep in his core. He wanted to hurt them. He laughed. He laughed hard, he knew he sounded insane but Trilla only smiled wider. He fell to the ground. The laughs racking his emaciated body Nothing had ever been so funny to him. Above him Trilla knelt. 

“I knew that all you needed was a push, and now you’re in the final stage of your transformation. Nothing can stop us now.” His heart did a little flutter when she said us. Us. He and Trilla. They were together. He suddenly realized what a fool he had been. Rebuild the Jedi order! It was impossible. The Jedi were dead for a reason. They weren’t strong enough. He finally managed to stop laughing long enough to speak.

“I’m ready for the next step.” His words were punctuated by small hiccups. Her smile grew wider than ever, her teeth shining in red light. 

“I know. But first we must repair your body. Only then will you be able to complete your training.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy Trilla really managed to flip a switch in Cal. All he wants now is to please her. Though let’s be honest can we really blame him


	5. Your Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve changed the rating of this story cause I feel like maybe it’s going a little beyond Teen. What that means for me writing it as a 17 year old I don’t know but let me know if you guys feel like it’s better as a teen or mature

He didn’t sleep in the cell anymore, Trilla brought him to a set of rooms they would share. She told him they would work closely together until he was ready to be named. He could take hot showers. He was fed three times a day. The food was even pretty good. She trained him all day. At night he would often have nightmares but she was always there to comfort him. Telling him how she had them too when she had first become an inquisitor. He realized during this time that he was always happiest when she was. 

Ever since he had accepted what he was becoming she had become happy. His goal in life had become to make Trilla happy. Whatever that took. Soon though he found out what it would take.

“Kill them? Why?” He didn’t want to kill Cere and Greez.

“Cal they are traitors, they wanted to lead you away from your destiny. From me. When they’re dead you will become more powerful than ever before.” He thought about it for a few moments.

“Would it make you happy if I killed them?” She smiled sweetly at him, his heart started to beat faster. She leaned in her mouth right against his ear. Her warm breath sending a chill down his spine

“It would make me very happy Cal.” Her voice had dropped a few octaves had become richer smoother. Seductive.

“I’ll do it.” She giggled slightly at his enthusiasm. The sound was like melody to his ears. 

“Not yet. You need more time to train. It won’t be easy, Cere was once a Jedi Master.” He nodded, she was right, as always. “It’s getting late you need your rest.” He stood up before gathering some clothing. As tired as he was he needed to shower he was still sweaty from the training earlier. 

He turned the water on hot before climbing in. He sighed as the steaming water splashed against his sore back. Looking down he watched the water droplets create paths down his body before going down the drain. He had regained almost all of the weight from before he had been brought to Nur. The knife wounds from his training had scarred. There were at least a dozen of them littering his chest arms and legs. Some deeper than others. The ugly blotches served as a reminder to him, he couldn’t afford to be weak. What did Trilla think of his scars. Did she like them, or would she view them as a sign of cowardice. He thought about it while he washed himself. He closed his eyes as images of her filled his mind. He remembered her kindness for as long as he had been at the Fortress Inquisitorius. Her smile, the one she reserved for him. Her strong graceful body. His breathing started to deepen his heart beating faster. Did she ever think of him like this? 

He turned the water to cold before his urges took control of him. He stepped out of the shower before redressing and exciting the bathroom. Trilla was waiting at the door already half undressed. She brushed past him her hand skimming across his stomach. The door shut behind her and he shuffled towards his bed. He lay there for some time staring at the ceiling. After a while a sound invaded his hearing over the running water of the shower. A soft melodic voice. She was singing.

The song was sad, he couldn’t hear the words but they held a definite sense of melancholy. His eyelids were starting to feel heavier as he listened to her voice. She kept singing even after the water turned off. He could hear some of the words now. It was about losing something. When the door opened she was drying her hair. Humming gently the rest of the melody. She wore a large shirt that covered halfway down her thighs. He watched her walk towards her own bed. Tracking the movements of her toned legs. 

“Goodnight Cal.” Her voice startled him.

“Goodnight Trilla.” The light turned off and yet he still saw her face bathed inside warm glow in his mind.

He spent the next few weeks training both his body and his newfound ability in the force. Trilla taught him how to fuel his force powers with his emotion. It was so liberating, no longer did he have to suppress any emotion that he may feel. 

“Cal. I have something for you.” He turned towards her voice after they had finished training. “I think you have earned it now.” He titled his head as she beckoned him to come closer. He stood up from the ground and walked towards her. She reached into a pocket and pulled out a small crystal. 

He looked at it. He recognized the kyber crystal in her hand. It tried to reach out to him but he pushed it away from him through the force. 

“This crystal belonged to your master, Jaro Tapal,” he nodded. “But now it serves you. However it is not suitable with your new life. You must show the crystal who you are now. Show it the power of emotions. The power of the Dark Side. You must dominate it. When you do, it will bleed in submission and you will have a weapon of your own.” 

He took the crystal from her hand. He felt the force within the crystal. He saw his old master and he saw himself, how he used to be. Weak, Naive. Pathetic. He poured every emotion he could into the crystal, his pain, anger, guilt. He felt as though he was battling it. He could feel the crystal trying to protect itself from his assault. But slowly it began to weaken its resolve before its defense collapsed entirely. He felt a sharp keening from the force itself as the crystal seemed to die. 

“Well Done.” It is ready for your new lightsaber. She handed him the hilt of his old lightsaber. It had been spliced with a second Emitter of imperial design. It lacked the ring of Trilla’s but he preferred it that way. He placed the crystal into the emitter before sealing the saber. Trilla smiled encouragingly. 

Cal took a deep breath before lifting the saber to his face and pressed the switch. A beam of Blood sliced open the air in front of him, the dull hum of the blade as it vaporized the air that came in contact with the blade. He looked past the blade at her. 

Her eyes were filled with a bright sense of envy at his new experience. As he closed his eyes he felt his psychometry flaring and his vision darkened. Cold, pain, fear, he felt everything crash back into him all over again. in an instant he relived his months at the Fortress. When his vision cleared he was on the ground. His lightsaber disabled but still in hand. Trilla was above him holding his face and Calling his name.

“I’m so sorry Cal I forgot about your psychometry. Are you all right?” He looked at her before slowly struggling to his feet. 

“I’m Ready Trilla, I’m ready to kill them.”


	6. I Won’t Let You Hurt Them

“Chances are they’ll be back on Bogano.” Trilla nodded at his statement. 

“I agree, they haven’t yet been to any planet with a strong imperial presence, nor have I heard anything from our spies in Hutt space.” They must be laying low. What for he wasn’t sure, what would their goal would be without himself. Before he could come up with an answer a purge trooper entered the planning room. 

“Second Sister, there’s been a report of a ship matching your description approaching Pantora.” A cunning smile covered her Face 

“So, Cere has decided to forgo Bogano.” She tapped her chin. “what is your goal Cere.” Her voice had dropped under her breath. 

“She must have found something related to the Holocron.” Trilla looked at him seemingly startled from her thought.

“Yes, perhaps... Let’s not waste any time. Who knows how long they’ll be there.” She grabbed her saber and started walking. “You go to the room and get our things. I’ll get us a ship. Meet me on the landing pad in five minutes.” He nodded before turning down a hallway towards their room. Surrounded by the monotonous walls he allowed his mind to wander. Despite what he’d told Trilla he didn’t know if he could kill Cere. Not only would she be difficult to beat in a fight but he wondered if his training had made him hard enough. He tried not to think about what would happen if he couldn’t. Trilla would be very displeased. When he entered the room he quickly shouldered his bag before grabbing Trilla’s. As his hands brushed the material he felt the anticipation Trilla did on Kashyyyk she had known she would catch him there. Had known how much potential he had. 

He pushed the feelings away before picking the bag up and hurrying towards the landing pad.

The flight to Pantora was as uneventful as he had anticipated. He sat in silence polishing his new saber while Trilla occasionally adjusted the controls of the ship. 

“What do you think Cere is up to?” His voice broke the nearly oppressive silence within the cockpit. 

“Even if I had an Idea I wouldn’t presume.” Her tone was clipped. She sounded angry.

“Are you upset with me Trilla? Have I done something wrong?” He hated how his voice had sounded. Submissive and insecure. 

“No Cal.” She let out a deep sigh “you’ve done nothing wrong. I’m just a little apprehensive of our coming duel with Cere... perhaps we have acted too hastily. Surely you could benefit from more training.”

“Trilla.” He cut off her rambling. “We’re as ready as we’ll ever be.” She nodded, still she seemed uncertain. 

“It seems they landed in Sector 279. Mostly low income housing and businesses. Higher than average crime rate. Low policing. This will be more interesting than I though.”

It reminded him slightly of scrap town. A series of slums filled with cutthroats and criminals, as well as the poorest on Bracca. Naturally he had been near the outskirts of scrap town but he didn’t have much trouble there.

“We’ll land and send out probes to find them.” The ship pressed down on a dirty landing zone with a deep crunch. Trilla slipped on her helmet and walked to the entrance ramp as it opened. A storm trooper commander approached the ship. 

“It’s an Honor to have you Inquisitors. How may we assist your Mission?”

“Send out probe droids looking for these parameters.” Trilla handed the trooper data files containing the likeness of Cere Greez and the Stinger Mantis.

“Yes Ma’am.” The trooper came to attention before turning around and relaying the orders.

“So,” Cal asked. “What do we do now.” Her sigh was distorted by the helmet but he could still hear the boredom creeping into her.

“We wait.” 

It turns out they didn’t need to wait long. Within the hour Cere had been found entering a seedy cantina.

The two set off towards it immediately. As they traveled the streets pedestrians would cross to the other side of the street averting their eyes as walking faster. 

“Relish in their fear Cal. They haven’t even an inkling of our power yet they are terrified all the same.” 

The walk to the cantina was shorter than He had expected. He saw a flash dark skin and suddenly stopped and grabbed Trilla yanking her into an alley way. Pressing her to the wall he stood in front of her before peeking around the corner.

“What are you doing!” Her voice was a fierce whisper. 

“She just left, and she’s not alone.” He felt her surprise through the force. He was suddenly aware of their close proximity. Bodies flush against each other. He hurriedly stepped back slightly short of breath. 

He stepped out of the alley way motioning for Trilla to follow. They tailed the pair as they got farther and farther from the dense crowds. This made it easier to follow them but harder to remain undetected. Finally once the street was empty they caught snippets of a conversation.

“Something feels... cold, dark.” The voice of the other person echoed. It was young, feminine. He caught a glimpse of her as he rounded the corner.

Short, Pantoran, lavender hair. 

“Let’s hurry they may be getting close.” Ceres voice sent a shock of anger through his body. She had abandoned him.

They turned the last corner coming into a landing bay the mantis on the far side. Trilla nodded to cal and they left the shadows of the wall. As he approached he felt the girls sensitivity to the force.

“Going Somewhere! I didn’t think we’d find you so soon. But you are quite easy track.” Cere whipped around to face the two. Her face showed shock and then pain at the sight of Cal. “Who’s this? A new Padawan perhaps?” So Trilla had felt it too. “So soon after the last two? You sure go through them quickly.” Cere pulled a blaster from her holster.

“Run Chira!” Her words were accompanied by a blaster bolt. They side stepped the hastily aimed plasma and advanced. The girl started to run. Before stopping and turning back towards them. She drew two lightsabers from a pocket in her clothing. Bright green blades erupted from the twin hilts. She quickly settled into a Jar-Kai stance. 

Cal Drew his lightsaber spinning it before lighting one blade in a flourish. He slowly advanced on the young woman. She suddenly dashed towards him her lightsabers became a blur of bright green. 

She moved fast drawing on the force for some acrobatics and extra speed. He blocked her flurry waiting for an opening. When he found it he swing hard into her blades which had come in together from one side. She was knocked back by his strength and she tripped backwards. Landing on her butt. Her face showed fear as he stalked towards her. Her golden eyes wide. She was close to his age he could tell now that he was closer.

She was pretty too. 

“Giving up so easy Chira?” Her mouth set into a hard line and she spun, her legs coming under her, bringing her to her feet. “Much better. Maybe once I beat you you’ll get to watch us kill your new friends. 

“Stay away from them! I won’t let you hurt them!” He faltered. He remembered saying the exact same thing once. She took advantage of his weakness attacking him with renewed vigor. He blocked several swipes before disengaging. He pushed her with the force. She hit the hull of the mantis with a clang and stayed down. He turned to see Trilla shot recoiling to one side. as Cere picked up the girl and dragged her onboard. He could have gone after Cere but that would mean leaving Trilla in potentially critical condition.

The mantis lifted off immediately and blasted off. The engines pushing him backwards and kicking up dust in his eyes. He rushed towards Trilla. He dropped to his knees and hurriedly reached for his Bacta padding.

“Are you okay Trilla?” She yanked her helmet off of her face. Her teeth bared in a grimace. Her arm had a large blaster burn and he found the area of impact on her bicep.

“I’m fine.” He wasn’t so sure the shot was pretty bad, close to the bone and shearing through a lot of muscle. not to mention the large third degree burn covering a good portion off her upper arm. She likely wouldn’t be able to use a lightsaber until it was properly healed. 

“Don’t worry.” He cupped her cheek gently. “We’ll catch them another time.” He could feel her disappointment and shame in waves. Suddenly she leaned forward resting her head on his shoulder. He gently rubbed her back as they sat there.

“We’ll catch them, I promise.”


	7. You Can’t Stop The Empire

Thankfully with the aide of some bacta Trilla was able to recover remarkably fast. She had even managed to get a tracker onto the Mantis back on Pantora without the crew realizing. They followed Cere and the crew of the Mantis for nearly a week. Seemingly always one step behind. But they were catching up, Cal could feel it. 

He wasn’t sure what was taking them so long. They had everything they needed to continue the Quest. Didn’t they? Maybe he was missing something that kept them from finishing what he had started. 

They had returned to Nur a few times to resupply and reevaluate leads. Everytime he forgot how painful the planet was. Even after his transformation the facility acted like a magnet for negativity. He felt near despair as they entered the atmosphere. A feeling which only lifted as they put distance between themselves and the watery planet.

He had stood up to stretch, walking away from the cockpit when a hand gently grasped his wrist. Trilla looked at him from her seat. 

“You’ve come very far Cal. I’m very proud of you. It’s nearly tome for you to be named as an Inquisitor.” He flushed at her praise. He went to rub his neck when he found her hand had slipped down his wrist and settled in his own.

He swallowed as her grip tightened. Her hands were surprisingly soft for someone who spent hours a day practicing lightsaber combat. Still it was a pleasant surprise. 

She slowly stood and his heart rate skyrocketed. He was sure she could feel it in his fingertips. Maybe she could even hear it. Her other hand came to rest upon his chest. He had removed the chest armor from his uniform for the flight. Her hand was warm against him and he was certain she would feel his heart now. 

Her mouth twitched into a smile as she expectedly felt his pounding heart.

“Am I frightening you Cal?” Her voice was light, almost teasing. He shook his head, his throat far too dry to speak properly. “So why is your heart beating so fast?” He didn’t respond because she stepped even closer. Their faces only inches apart. He realized at that point she wasn’t as tall as he had thought. She was just about the same height as him. She had always seemed taller than him. 

“Do I make you feel other things Cal” her voice had taken on that same silky smoothness from before when they had talked about killing Cere. He realized he couldn’t catch his breath. However he could smell hers, a intoxicating mix of Cinnamon and Vanilla. Her hand, previously laying in his own gently traveled up his arm. It brushed his neck before settling on his cheek. 

“I think I feel them too.” Her voice sent shivers trough his whole body. Causing hairs to raise on end. She looked down at his lips before locking eyes with him. She leaned in slowly. Her lips brushed his gently. He closed his eyes as she deepened the kiss. He sighed into her mouth as she pressed herself against him. He backed into a wall and they both laughed breaking the kiss for a moment. Then she was back on him. Her lips pressing hard against his own. Her hands tangled themselves into his hair as his settled on her hips. Her body ground roughly against him. A soft moan escaping her lips. He wasn’t sure when it happened but suddenly her tongue was in his mouth licking at his teeth and rolling against his tongue. 

Cal’s Body started to heat up. Unfortunately a beeping sounded from a device in the cockpit. He wanted to destroy the whole console at that moment. She broke the kiss sighing deeply leaning her forehead against his. 

“That means we’re ready to exit hyperspace.” He breathed heavily trying to overcome the reaction of his body. She bit his lip teasingly before she broke away from him. A smirk on her face. He licked his lip still tasting her as she sauntered towards her chair an extra swing in her hips. She fiddled with the controls before settling into the chair. He sat down with a plop beside her. 

“Have they been here yet?” He cleared his throat trying to rid his voice of its husky edge.

“Landed less than 12 standard hours ago.” Her face was flushed and she was slightly breathless. 

“Then maybe we have a chance to catch them.” Her smile widened.

“If we do maybe we can finish what we started in celebration.” He wanted that very much.

He stared out at the burnt red horizon of the planet before him. He felt a darkness settled over the planet. A darkness in the very core of the planet.

“What is this place?” 

“Dathomir. It used to be inhabited by a group of Zabrak-human women who ruled over a sub class of Zabrak males. However the Nightsisters as they were called were killed during the clone wars.” He remembered Dathomir from Kashyyyk this was where the astrium was. 

“All of them?” 

“All of them.” She confirmed and he let out a low whistle of morbid fascination. 

They landed a decent distance away from where the mantis was sitting on a natural landing pad of sorts. They then spent two hours hiking and climbing the towering cliffs of the Nightsister ruins.eventually they finished scaling the rough walls of the mountains and followed a mostly level path. It lead toward two large pillars, blade-like in their design, they were eerily similar to the vault on Bogano. It must be another Sages tomb. 

“I have a feeling we’re supposed to go in there.” She grunted in reply before starting forward towards the entrance. Jumping a large chasm, they scaled a rock face. Then followed the path into the entrance of the tomb. Large pillars filled the room from the floor to the ceiling. A large entryway was In the center of the room.

They heard voices up ahead both female. The two inquisitors looked at each other before nodding. The both unclipped their lightsabers and walked towards the large metal door.

They walked through a long hallway with a crack in the wall at the end. The room was empty save for a natural bridge that ran halfway up the wall. The talking faded and then ceased. Cal shivered. 

“There’s someone else here. Someone dark. Sinister. Full of bitterness.” She nodded confirming she felt it as well. They pushed through the small gap in the wall coming out into a narrower hallway. Narrowed but much taller. Statues of the Zeffo adorned the wall. a crimson light cast the end of the room in blood. In the center of the room was a large circular Dias. Standing upon which were two figures. 

They advanced towards the platform as they began to argue. 

“You foolish girl. It's over! The Jedi fell long before the Purge. Stifled by tradition. Deafened by our past glories. Blinded by endless war.” One of the figures a shirtless male turned towards them after he had spoken.

“You’re wrong the Jedi can still-“ she fell silent at the sight of the two inquisitors.

“No no continue. I have a feeling it would be very inspiring.” Cal called out. Chira flushed, her skin turning indigo at his mockery. 

“Who are you?” The man was the source of the the presence Cal had felt. 

“I am the Second Sister. Surrender to the night of the empire or face your demise.” The man laughed before drawing two lightsabers from his waist and igniting them. They had red blades just like Cal and Trilla’s. Chira drew her own seconds after, followed by Cal and Trilla.

“I am Taron Malicos and It seems we all know where this is going.” At Taron Malicos last word he launched himself towards the two inquisitors. He was a skilled duelist likely a Jedi master before the fall of the order. He fought well with two sabers save one quirk. He seemed to swing his blades in tandem with each other. Still his strikes were hard and powerful. Not only that he also used the force while fighting to a great degree pushing and throwing rocks towards the two of them.

“Dathomir will be your grave Inquisitor!”

Cal managed to knock him off balance when he threw a rock, redirecting it back towards Malicos. He followed up by dashing towards the former Jedi and cutting off his right arm. He screamed in agony clutching at his arm before pushing Cal backwards. He was flung through the air before hitting the ground hard enough to drive the air from his lungs and crack his head painfully against the hard stone. He rolled after hitting the ground and went off the edge. He managed to grab the ledge and held on tight, the chasm below hungrily awaiting him. 

As he was pulling himself up he saw a flash of green as a young woman appeared in front of Malicos. 

“You have no right to Dathomir! No right to our magick!” Another flash of green and the ground below Malicos opened up and he fell down before rocks closed around him sealing him into the ground. A sinister silence filled the room. “It is like you said Malicos, Dathomir will be your grave.” The heavily accented voice of the woman filled the room.

Cal struggled up onto the stone, he saw Trilla a few feet knocked unconscious from the push that had knocked Cal off his feet. As he stood he felt suspiciously unsteady. He touched the back of his head and it came away red with blood.

“How did you find us?” Chira still had her lightsabers in a defensive position. Her eyes were hard. 

“How much do you really know about Cere?” She seemed puzzled by his changing of the subject. “What did she tell you about her Padawan?” 

“Which one?”

“Both.” He decided he would play along see what Chira knew. 

“They were both Captured and killed by the Empire.”

He was almost disappointed in Cere, really he was. However he wasn’t surprised. She was a liar by nature it seemed. 

“They weren’t killed. They survived. Cere used the dark side to escape the Empire leaving her first Padawan there to be tortured. Her second Padawan was less fortunate. He was captured and Cere never even tried to save him.” He could see the conflict on her face. She didn’t want to believe him, but deep down she did. “She left me to rot.” The Pantoran Eyes widened and she let her guard down.

“You’re Cal Kestis.” He smiled. 

“I am indeed. You seem shocked, more handsome that you had anticipated?” He started to walk closer and she raised her sabers again. 

“Cere wouldn’t lie to me.” He scoffed at her confidence.

“What makes you so sure? I thought the same thing once. Cere it seems never learns from her mistakes. Do you even know what you’re looking for?” 

She nodded.

“A Holocron containing the names of all force sensitive children in the galaxy.”

“So when she’s got it what keeps her from giving the rest of them over to the empire?Like she did us. Like she’ll do to you.” Chira was silent at that. 

Footsteps echoed in the room.

“Chira! We need to go- Cal.” He turned around coming face to face with Cere. Her face showed worry.

“Why hello Cere, I didn’t expect you to leave the ship. You know Chira here didn’t even recognize me. Didn’t know about Trilla. When will the lies stop Cere?” 

“Cal. I never meant for you to get hurt. I had no choice.” He felt his eyes burning and his throat felt thick. An indescribable rage filled his whole body.

“You... you left me! You never even tried. You could have helped me.” Tears were pouring past his cheeks. Tears of rage? Hurt? Sorrow? He wasn’t sure but they were there. There was a white hot ball of hate in his chest. That he knew.

“It’s not too late Cal you can still come back. We can help you. You don’t need to do what Trilla tells you.

“Help me? I don’t want your help! We were expendable to you.” Chira had slowly come back into his line of sight. Her lightsabers were no longer in her hands. The woman he presumed was a Nightsister was standing beside her. 

“Cal please you need to calm down. See reason.” He all but snarled at her.

“Reason! You left me for dead in the worst place in the galaxy. You never even bat an eye when leaving me there.” A sharp pain brought his attention back to his head. He felt where he had hit the stone and he realized with a jolt that there was more blood there than what was normal. He felt woozy.

“Cal.” 

He went take a step forward raising his saber and found himself on the ground. His vision was dimming around the edges. He heard voices coming towards him from the end of a long tunnel.

“We need to go Chira.” 

“You’re gonna leave him here? You’re just proving his point!” 

“We cant bring him he’s too dangerous.” 

“He’s Injured!”

The Nightsister spoke before everything went dark. 

“If he is left here he will die. His head is worse than it even looks.” He felt two small hands grab his biceps and start to drag. Grunting with effort. Then darkness.

Before he’d even opened his eyes a wave of nausea rocked him. His head pounded painfully and he groaned. 

“Are you Awake?” He sat up even though he thought he might throw up. He was back in a familiar spot. Laying in his old bed on the mantis. He almost thought it had all been some twisted dream until he saw who asked him a question.

Chira was leaning against the door.

“Why am I here?” 

“Merrin said you were gonna die. I couldn’t leave you there it would be wrong.” Merrin? That must have been the name of the Nightsister. 

“I’m guessing we’re off Dathomir.” She nodded. He reached up to his head only to find that his hands were cuffed. He raised an eyebrow and she blushed slightly shrugging her shoulders. 

“Cere said we’d be safer if you were restrained. I managed to convince her not to chain you to the bed. She reached forward and unlocked his cuffs. He was wearing the clothes from Dathomir. Stiff with sweat and red dirt. 

“I don’t suppose there’d be a chance of me getting some fresh clothes?” 

“Some of your stuff is in there.” She pointed to one of the drawers on the wall of the Mantis.

He opened it pulling out an old pair of clothes. He pulled his shirt over his head. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Chira blush a deep indigo he slipped the shirt on. Looking up he saw her still looking at him. 

“Where did those scars come from?” Her voice was small maybe nervous at how he would react.

“I got them when I was on Nur.” She looked down at her feet. “I’m gonna keep changing. You can stay or leave but if you’re gonna get that embarrassed over me being shirtless I would leave. She turned and quickly left the room. When he finished changing he opened the door she was waiting for him. 

“We should go talk to Cere. He nodded and walked ahead of her assuming she wouldn’t want her back to him. 

She led him out into the main room of the ship. He stopped at the entrance to the kitchen, Greez was cooking humming quietly to himself. The Nightsister Merrin was sitting on the couch. legs crossed eyes closed. Care was sitting across from her her head in her hands. He should have been angry, wanted to kill everyone there. But really, all he felt was a dull ache where his heart was. 

“Cal.” Greez’s startled voice broke through his haze “I uh haven’t haven’t seen you in a while. You look good.” Greez was clearly very nervous. afraid of saying the wrong set of words that might set him into a killing frenzy. 

Cere looked up at him. Their eyes met and he fought to remain neutral.

“Cal. I’m so... so sorry. I know there’s nothing I can say to make you ever trust me again, if I could go back and change what happened I would.” She hesitated briefly. “But you’re safe now. Trilla can’t hurt you anymore.” He lost whatever semblance of neutrality he originally intended to maintain.

“Trilla didn’t hurt me! She wanted to help me! She showed me who you really were!” Greez cringed and did a sort of dive for cover. Chira was looking at the ground guiltily. Merrin how we watched the interaction with keen interest.

“Trilla was using you Cal.” He scoffed at that

“As opposed to you, who only had my best intentions in mind!” 

“I understand what you’re feeling. The pain, the anger, the guilt.” 

“The only pain I feel is from my busted head, the only anger I have is toward you for lying to me, and I feel no guilt... not anymore.”

“What has she done to you Cal?” He bristled at her tone. She had no right to insult Trilla.

“Where is she?” He realized she wasn’t on board. 

“Last we saw her she was still on Dathomir.” Whatever anger he had felt before skyrocketed.

“You left her there! Unconscious!” The Nightsister spoke.

“She will be fine. I told the Nightbrothers to stay away from her. Then I brought her to her ship.” He looked at her. Silvery hair in a low bun. Simple red and black robes. Her skin was a pale grey with dark tattoos in intricate patterns. The same tattoos could be seen on her hands and fingers. Just like Chira she was remarkably pretty.

“Thank you.” He was surprised to find he actually meant it. 

“You are welcome I could not in good conscience leave her there.”

“Drop me off on the nearest planet.” Cal demanded as he turned back towards Cere. She instantly shook her head

“Cal I can’t do that. Not when you’ll turn around and hunt us down again.” She was right of course. He would follow them for as long as Trilla did. “We can help you Cal. We can protect you from the Empire.” He noticed her deliberate word choice clearly avoiding the use of Trilla’s Name.

“No.” He shook his head gently. “You can’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is getting a little steamy. Also I found out Cal is 5’11” which is taller than I thought. And you guys thought there was a love triangle in the making. Perhaps it’s more complicated. A love rectangle. Oh boy maybe.


	8. I can Stop You

Cere had looked him hard in the eye. He met her gaze.

“Cal, why? You don’t need the Dark Side. You don’t need Trilla.” 

“Maybe not. But I definitely don’t need you.” 

He turned and strode back down the hall until he reached his room. As he left the line of sight of the other inhabitants he braced himself against the bulkhead. The walls spun around him and he slowly made his way to the back room. His desk was much cleaner than it had been before, the lightsaber parts were arranged in neat orderly rows, He ran his hand across the work table. 

“Um Cal. There’s someone who wants to see you.” He turned to tell her he wasn’t in the mood for another argument when a sound changed his mind.

“Bweep Boo” he laughed out loud at the figure perched upon Chira’s shoulder. 

“BeeDee!” Another trill erupted from the droid as he launched himself from the Pantorans shoulder and tottered as fast as he could towards Cal. The droid jumped into Cal’s arms. 

Cal for his part held the droid close tucking it into his chest.

“Are you doing okay BeeDee? Has anyone been keeping up on your Maintenance?” Chira cleared her throat.

“I have. It took him a while to let me. He kept saying that he was waiting for you. I don’t think Cere really payed him much attention while you were... gone.” 

“I appreciate it.” He’s the best droid a person could ask for.” 

“He told me a lot about you. He talked about how brave you were, how selfless.” She paused for a minute searching his face for a reaction. “I think that person is still very much in there. I think that even you don’t want to let him go. Let yourself go.” He closed his eyes. She was wrong that person was gone. Dead. Even if Cal wanted him back it was too late.

“Chira you seem like a good person.” He stood turning towards her. He stepped close. He saw her blush slightly. “Don’t make the same mistake I did. Don’t trust Cere.” She blinked twice before stepping back and looking at her feet.

“Cal, please let us help you. My master used to say that everyone sways in the face of the dark side. Some even bend. But no one breaks. There’s always a way back. You just have to look for the path.”

“That’s a nice thought.” He looked around the room noticing a small pair of boots sitting under the cot. “You’ve been staying here haven’t you?” She nodded. “You can have it back I’ll sleep on the couch.” She seemed slightly frustrated he had brushed off her words but she let it go.

“Even though it’s Potolli weave? Greez won’t be very happy.” He met her smile with one of his own.

“No he won’t. But I doubt he’ll say a word.” He stretched briefly before strolling out of the room. He sat down on the couch opposite Merrin. He slouched in the seat. He knew that Trilla would find him. It could just take a while. So he might as well get comfortable.

“You are not dark.” He opened his eyes raising an eyebrow 

“Excuse me?” Her brow furrowed 

“You are not dark. Not like her.” What did that mean, he wasn’t dark? He sat up.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She rolled her eyes.

“The other one was dark it seemed into her. Almost to the point of no return. But you, you are surrounded by pain, guilt, and anger. Mostly at yourself. yet it does not penetrate you. There is brightness inside of you. A brightness that cannot be dimmed by the darkness.” Her words made him angry, he wasn’t bright. Trilla would probably gag at what she was saying.

“Can you stop. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” This time she raised an eyebrow. But she didn’t say another word. He slumped back down in the seat. Trilla would find him soon.

————————  
Trilla Dathomir  
————————

A pounding headache was the first thing she felt when she woke up. She needed to get up. When she opened her eyes she found herself inside of her ship. 

“Cal?” Her call received no answer. Slowly she staggered to her feet. The ship was right where it had been when they landed. It took her much longer to get back to Kujets Tomb the second time around. When she got there she found it empty. All except for Cal’s Lightsaber. She grabbed it and hooked it to her belt. After searching the area she came to a narrow but tall hallway lit by a red light. She strode to the end of passing carvings of a genocide it ended in a statue of a Zeffo. It opened reavealing a type of altar. An astrium sat in the center of said altar. She stepped up and grabbed it.

She opened their comm channel.

“Cal? Are you there?” There was a moment of silence before it was answered by a connecting beep.

“Trilla.” The voice sent a lance of rage through her. 

“Cere. I should have known you would try and take him at the first chance.”

“Trilla, don’t act like you care about him. We both know he’s just a way to get to me. Let him go he’s just a boy.” 

“Always so self obsessed. Maybe I was lonely. Besides he makes for a good way to pass the time.” She could hear the growl in Cere’s voice.

“What did you do to him? The same thing they did to us? He didn’t deserve that.” 

“Neither did I.” She hissed at the older woman. “However I’m willing to make a trade. In your haste to escape this forsaken planet you left an important artifact behind.” She heard the other woman swear over the comm.

“You want to trade the Astrium for Cal? He isn’t some sort of pawn. You’re sick Trilla.” 

“Does it matter?” She could feel the turmoil within the older woman. “You need the Astrium to get the Holocron you and I both know how much that means to you.” 

“I can’t give him to you. There’s still hope for him.” White hot fury coursed through her veins. Like there hadn’t been hope for her once. Cere could have saved her all those years ago when she had escaped instead she had left her for dead. 

“I’ll be waiting for you on Bogano.” The older Jedi gasped at the mention of the secret planet. “Yes I know about Bogano, Cal told me everything. He was easy to persuade.” She could again feel the disgust in the former Jedi. “See you soon Cere.” With that she closed the comm and returned to her ship. 

—————————————  
Cal Mantis, Hyperspace   
—————————————

He wasn’t sure if it was the shudder of the ship coming out of hyperspace that woke him up but he sure was glad he did. When he woke up he still had a sheen of cold sweat on his skin and his heart was beating rapidly.

“Bad dream?” Chira’s voice held as strong note of sympathy. “I get them too, ever since the purge. Do you want to talk about it?” Her concern was genuine and it almost made him chuckle. 

“It wasn’t a nightmare. It was a memory.” Her head cocked to the left and a puzzled expression came over her face.

“What kind of memory?” He could hear the reluctance to ask in her voice she clearly already knew. He looked her deep in the eye. He knew his gaze was haunting by her expression.

“The kind that shows me how futile your efforts are. how weak I once was... Take my advice.” He stood stepping closer to her. “When you’re captured by the Empire... don’t fight it.” She dropped her eyes.

He turned looking out of the cockpit. He recognized the planet they were visiting. Though it was dark this time. The mantis slowly touched down on the soggy ground of Bogano.

“Chira we need to talk. Now.” Cere’s voice was tense. Something wasn’t going her way. He watched the Pantoran walk back towards the ex Jedi. 

Their voices were quiet. He strained to listen, then suddenly Chira shouted and he didn’t have to.

“We can’t give him back! What if they hurt him! What if they kill him!” He was almost touched by her concern. Though he was confused as to why she was so concerned for his wellbeing.

“Chira. Keep your voice down.” The older woman scolded the young girl

“It’s a little late for that. I’ve already heard you.” Cere huffed before resuming the conversation with Chira, still in hushed tones. At some point Merrin strode past him and entered the conversation. Cere was being surrounded. Both of the young woman were clearly in disagreement with her. Finally she snapped

“We don’t have a choice. Trilla is already here and we need the Astrium.”

So Trilla found the Astrium. And it seemed that she was using it as a bargaining chip. Clever. 

Cere stepped away from the other two and stopped in front of Cal. 

“We’re going to let you go. But please Cal it’s not too late to change who you will become.” Chira has her arms Crossed and a scowl on her face. Merrin seemed short tempered as she walked away from Cere. He stood up and walked past Cere. The door opened and the ramp lowered. Trilla stood about twenty feet away from the ship. His lightsaber was clipped to her belt and the Astrium sat in her hand. The crew of the mantis followed him out. Before he had the chance to walk forward a hand grabbed his shoulder.

“Give us the Astrium first.” Trilla shrugged before tossing it to Cere who caught it neatly in her hand. She let go of his shoulder and he walked over to Trilla. 

As he drew level with her she grabbed his chin and turned his face side to side.

“Did they hurt you?” Her voice held a dangerous edge. He shook his head

“I’m fine.” A smile graced her features.

“Good.” Her voice a purr. She turned to Cere as she handed him his lightsaber. 

“This isn’t-.” The screech of a TIE fighter cut off whatever she had intended to say. It landed behind them. At the same time a drop ship hovered over them and a squadron of storm troopers jumped out. He heard deep Mechanical breathing from behind and turned back towards the TIE. A large Imposing figure in black armor had climbed out and strode towards them. His heavy footsteps impossibly loud on the soft ground. Trilla stiffened beside him. He stepped back a few feet and grabbed his saber.

“Cal! Trilla!” Cere called out to them but he ignored her.

“You have failed me Inquisitor. A blade of blood red erupted from the warriors hand. 

Trilla still hadn’t moved from her spot. She had gone pale as was shaking slightly. As he raised his blade she remained inert. 

“Avenge Us.” Trilla’s voice held fear, sorrow, and a note of acceptance. He saw the blade begin its descent. 

A scream tore through the air and he reached out. Time slowed nearly to a stop. Trilla was yanked towards his hand but not before the blade made contact across her back from her shoulder blade to the small of her back. An explosion of sparks from her armor came from her back. He heard her scream in pain and his blood burned inside of his body. 

Trilla hit the ground beside him and he dashed forward. His life didn’t matter, not without Trilla. He swung again and again. His strikes powered by rage and pain. He knew the Warrior was far more skilled than himself however he has been caught off guard by Cal’s ferocity. He backpedaled briefly. The battle began to tip against Cal the longer they stayed engaged. Suddenly his lightsaber was batted aside and he felt a blinding pain across his chest. He fell to his knees and as the figure began his follow up strike Cal pushed. All of his emotion was forced into that push. Rage, pain, hatred, love.

He screamed again as he pushed, he throat began to bleed from the force of his shout. The warrior was knocked back. He fell back into the ground. Cal felt a pair of arms wrap around him and drag. He groaned in pain and stumbled to his feet. Chira put his arm around her shoulders and he leaned against her as they stumbled towards the ship. Blaster fire ripped through the air burning the air as they whipped past them. He felt something hit the side of his face and ear. He shouted in pain as blood poured down his neck from the half cauterized wound. Everything was blurry and his ears were ringing. He barely heard Chira under his arm telling him to keep going. He saw Cere carrying Trilla into the ship front of them as they clambered up the ramp. The door sealed behind them and Greez hit the engines. As the ship picked up he and Chira lost their Balance. He fell onto his side and groaned as his wound sent a fresh spike of pain through him. 

He looked to his side seeing Trilla on her stomach in front of him. He dragged himself forward, fighting for consciousness. He could barely breath through the pain of his chest. Still he pulled himself across the ground. Finally he reached her side. Her eyes were dull and unalert. Her skin was pale and slick with sweat. Her lips trembled. 

“Trilla? Trilla? Trilla please.” She weakly turned her head towards his voice. The entire ship groaned as it went into hyperspace. He heard many voices and a insistent series of beeps and trills. 

Cal grabbed her hand. It was colder than it should have been. He brought it to his lips and whispered to her. Trilla’s eyes fluttered closed and his heart began to thud painfully. But he could still feel her pulse in her fingertips. It was weak but it was there.

“Cal I’m sorry but I have to do this.” Before he could register what Chira has said he felt a pick in his neck and the world around him went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First Trilla POV. Actually that’s the first female POV I’ve ever written let me know if it was any good. Also I hope I didn’t make Vader seem to much of a pushover. I wanted to convey that Cal is much stronger when using the dark side. Still he never stood a real chance against Vader.


	9. Survivors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s been so long it’s been down for a while but I’ve been having trouble motivating myself to edit. Still I hope you guys are liking it.

A bright white light blinded him after his long bout of unconsciousness. When he opened his eyes he realized he was no longer on the mantis. However his surroundings did seem rather familiar. 

Surround him we’re dark, large stone monoliths, he stood on a circular Dias similar to the one on dathomir. This one however was lit by a ghostly dark blue fog. Intricate carvings covered the floor. Suddenly a figure loomed from the mist. A towering figure, whose armor cut a sharp contrast to the blurry background. As the figure cleared the mist he recognized him. 

“Master Tapal?” The Lasat stood proud and strong however at Cals voice he scowled.

“You are not my Padawan.” Cal staggered back the words cut through his body like a blaster Bolt. He had long known yet to hear the words out loud caused a deep pain in his soul.

“W-what?” His former master laughed cruelly.

“Don’t act surprised, you have fallen, you have failed to follow my teachings and now you skulk in the dark.”

“Master I-“

“Silence!” Cal found the words sticking to his throat at the shout. “Let us see how powerful the Dark Side has made you.” The Lasat drew his saber. It’s blue blade reflecting light around the arena. 

With a shout he lunged towards Cal. He barely drew his own saber before his head would have been removed. The red light clashing against the dark blue fog. Sparks flew as their sabers connected. The Lasat was stronger than Cal. His immense strength and size made him feel like he was a child again. Swing after swing and Cal barely managed to block each attack. Suddenly as he was pressed towards the edge he struck. A simple stab. It slipped past his old Master’s guard and impaled him.

“It seems history has repeated itself. Again I am dead by your hand.” Jaro Tapals hands grabbed onto his own wrapping around the saber. Pulling it in deeper. Squeezing. “You killed me Cal Kestis, and now you dishonor my teaching by bending to the will of the Dark Side. You have failed me. You have failed yourself.” His hands tightened more and Cal heard a crack. 

Suddenly he opened his eyes he was on the ground his saber in hand the housing on the switch was badly damaged. He could see a crack in the crystal itself through the housing. Not completely broken but nearly. He tried to stand when footsteps echoed beside him. He couldn’t get his feet under him but he held the lightsaber out igniting it. Chira stood in the doorway. A startled look on her face. 

“Cal are you okay? I heard shouting.” She warily eyed the saber hesitant to step forward. Suddenly he heard a sputtering from the saber and he barely aimed it away from himself as the crystal released the second blade without activation. It disappeared as fast as it had appeared. He quickly switched it off before he impaled himself. 

“I’m fine.” He looked down at his saber.

“I’ve never seen that before. What was it.” He laughed bitterly.

“The crystal is cracked. It’s unstable, it can’t regulate itself and so it’ll try to vent. Which unfortunately means that I’m likely to get stabbed during a fight.” He noticed he was in the back of the mantis in his old room. He looked around. There was a shape in the cot. He grabbed onto the wall and pulled himself up. Groaning in pain as he did so.

“You could have asked for some help.” Chira rushed forward as he swayed on his feet. She caught him and kept him standing as he looked at the cot.

“Is she okay?” Trilla was on her stomach, her uniform had been cut away and nearly her whole torso was wrapped in bandages.

“She hasn’t woken up yet, we treated it as best we could but It could take weeks to heal. It’s pretty deep and we only have so much bacta. And we have to split it between the two of you.”

“Give her my bacta too.” Chira started to argue with him but he cut her off. “I can’t let her die.” She huffed.

“A lot of good that’ll do if you die of an infection trying to speed up her recovery.” He glared at her and for once she glared right back. An intensity in her eyes he’d never seen before. 

He stepped close to her. To his surprise she didn’t blush instead she rose an eyebrow and kept staring him down. 

He broke eye contact first turning towards Trilla. He went to rub his neck and his hand brushed against his ear. He winced as pain shot through his head. He looked down at Trilla. Her face was turned towards him. He reached out gently brushing her hair away from her face. She was truly beautiful when she slept. The hard lines of her face softened and she looked more peaceful. Happier. 

“I think we should probably change your bandages. It’s been about a day.” He nodded absentmindedly.

He gingerly removed his shirt groaning slightly as he lifted his arms above his head. Her blush returned with a vengeance as she got to work. Her hands were warm against his skin as she untied the gauze and removed the sticky bacta pad. He examined the wound at his chest as she worked. A deep angry gouge crossed his chest. It started at his left collarbone and cut across his chest until his right armpit. The skin was blackened in most spots and blistered along the edges. It started to burn as she washed away the dirty bacta. He did his best to ignore what felt like tiny bugs crawling under his skin. He hissed as she splashed it with disinfectant. After cleaning she gently replaced a fresh bacta pad, he didn’t fight her on it since he knew he would lose, along the length of the cut. She deftly wrapped bandages around his chest. Lingering for just a moment after securing it. Her fingers just brushing his pecs. Then just as he had expected she blushed and quickly withdrew her hands. He grinned at her. She said he could put his shirt back on before she worked on his ear but he didn’t respond.

She quickly removed the pad on his cheek and cleaned it. She went to replace it but he grabbed her wrist. 

“Hold on I want to see what it looks like.” She nodded and left the room for a moment. She returned with a small pocket mirror. 

He looked into his reflection. His face was more gaunt than he remembered, his eyes darker. They held an edge to them. Something he never remembered from before. The back part of his ear was gone, parts of it were probably still on Bogano. A black trail from the blaster marked his cheek and cheekbone. He laughed bitterly.

“At least now it’s symmetrical.” Chira smiled weakly and he handed the mirror back. “Don’t worry about my face it’ll be too hard to patch up. Just clean it up so it doesn’t get infected” She nodded briefly. Before splashing more disinfectant on his face. 

He returned back to Trilla’s side. There was enough room to sit down on the edge of the cot so he carefully lowered himself to it. He gently rubbed her undamaged shoulder.

“She’s strong Cal. She’ll pull through.” He hadn’t heard Cere enter the room and his back had been turned away from the door. He looked back at her. “You know sometimes I forget she’s not my Padawan anymore.” Her words held a bittersweet edge to them. She sighed before continuing.

“You were right Cal, I did leave you, both of you. And that was wrong of me. I wish for nothing more to go back and fix those mistakes. But it’s too late now.” She squeezed the bridge of her nose. “I hope that once day you could both forgive me.” He remained silent through her speech. She sighed sadly again at his silence. “If you need anything let me know.” Her footsteps faded as she left the room. 

He wasn’t sure how long he sat at Trilla’s side. BeeDee eventually joined him at her side crawling up onto his shoulder. 

“Boop Bwee woo?” He smiled softly at his friends question.

“I’m not sure. Around the same time I started using the Dark side. She was there for me when nothing else was.” 

“Bwoop.” 

“I know you don’t trust her but you trust me right?” 

“Be Beep.” He smiled at the droids response. They sat in silence for hours until Trilla shifted. A pained moan escaped from her lips. BeeDee hopped off of his shoulder and skittered out of the room.

“Trilla?” 

“Cal? Where are we?” 

“The Mantis. They kinda saved us from that guy.

“They didn’t save us they just delayed the inevitable.”

“Don’t talk like that, what do you mean?” A bitter laugh left her mouth. 

“That was Lord Vader he’s the one in control of the Inquisitorius. He’s a Sith Lord Cal, a tremendously skilled warrior.” He swore under his breath. She swallowed roughly and her eyes became glossy. “I though I was dead.” 

“I was afraid I’d lost you Trilla.” She breathed out slowly. She lifted her hand towards his. He grabbed it and brought it to his lips. She sighed gently. 

“Is there any food? I’m starving.” He nodded reassuring her he’d be only a few minutes.

He tried to stand as causally as possible in order not to worry her. He entered the kitchen. Merrin and Chira were sitting at the table talking quietly. 

“Cal, how do you feel?” He was surprised that Merrin had asked him first. “Has your friend awoken?” He nodded assuring them he was fine.

“Do you need anything?” Chira asked 

“Yes some food. She hasn’t eaten in about two days.” She nodded and helped him get some food. Cal was unfortunately very inept at cooking. Thankfully Chira was much better than him. And before long they had some delicious smelling food. The entire time she was cooking she talked about the meal. The smell made him realize how hungry he was but he knew there wasn’t enough for both of them so he told himself he’d get some food for himself after Trilla ate. 

When he returned she smiled at him. 

“That smells amazing.” He smiled back and gave her the food. She devoured it barely pausing to breath. Halfway through she let out a moan. 

“It tastes even better than it smells. Did you make this?” He laughed. 

“No Chira did. She’s a surprisingly good cook. It’s some Pantoran dish. One of her childhood favorites apparently.” Her smile faded slightly. 

“I didn’t realize you two were so well aquatinted.” He shrugged.

Trilla looked at him in silence. Still she kept eating. She fell back asleep soon after finishing her food. He took the empty plate and brought it into the kitchen setting it in the sink. Merrin smiled slightly at him as he entered. He nodded before returning to the hallway. When Cal returned Trilla’s even breathing relaxed him. he leaned back against the edge of the cot. Slipping a poncho behind his head as a pillow. He slept fitfully waking up every half hour. He would check on Trilla when he woke up. After a long night he was woken up by a small hand shaking his shoulder. 

“Cal we need to change her bandages. I’d appreciate your help because I don’t know how she’d react to just me.” He nodded and stood.

“Should we wake her?” Chira considered his question and then nodded. He touched her shoulder and whispered her name. She took a deep breath as she woke up. Letting it out as she opened her eyes. She went to stretch but stopped before she caused any major pain. 

“We need to change the bandages on your back.” She nodded and Chira started unraveling the bandages. They covered nearly her whole back. As they were removed they revealed many scars. Many burns. It took him a minute to recognize what they were. Brands. Large Imperial emblems were burned into the skin. Some were years old. Others however looked only months old. They could have been made during Cal’s imprisonment. The slash from Vader’s saber cut through several of the brands. The thought of some stormtrooper pressing a red hot branding iron to her bare skin made his blood boil. He swore that if he ever found them he would tear them to pieces. Chira worked efficiently. If not a little nervously. She replaced the pad and cal grabbed the bandage from her hand. 

“I can take it from here Chira, thank you.” She nodded straightening up and popping her neck.

“Call for me if you need anything.” She left the room. 

“Was this part of your torture?” She nodded. He started wrapping the wound carefully. Each layer of gauze covered those horrible branding marks.

“It was my first phase, afterwards if I failed, they used it as an incentive to try harder.” 

“Who?” A tear escaped her eye and steamed down her cheek. 

“Him, Lord Vader. He always oversaw my punishment.” He shivered at the thought. The man had been a dark hole in the force. Every feeling sucked into him and was destroyed. A gloomy void of pain and anguish.

“I’m sorry Trilla.” She laughed mirthlessly.

“The Empire has little tolerance for remissness.” He gently rubbed her uninjured shoulder. 

“Trilla, where do we go from here? The empire will hunt us. They won’t give up.” She sighed.

“No they are unceasingly persistent. They are like you in that way.” She smiled slightly. “As of now we are standing at the precipice of two Terrible choices. Stay with Cere, or go out on our own and be found within a week.” She closed her eyes and for a moment he wondered if she was considering the option. 

“Trilla, we’re the closest to freedom we’ve ever been. We can do anything with our lives.” There was a silvery tear running down Trilla’s cheek. She laughed. It was half pained and half relived. He finished wrapping the bandages and smoothed the edges.

“I don’t know where to begin. My whole life I’ve been under the thumb of a greater power. first the Jedi, then the Empire. I’m not sure who I am without them.” 

“We’ll find out together.”


	10. We Adapt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t hate me guys. Life has been weird lately and I’ve been struggling to motivate myself for anything. However If you are interested in helping motivate me here’s my Instagram: alec.ratt hit me up whenever to yell at me or ask questions

————————  
Chira Bogano  
————————

Panic was an understatement. However it was the only word that Chira could think of to properly describe how she felt. That towering figure in black armor. She shivered at the memory. She remembered the terror of dragging Cal’s half responsive body. She could barely support his weight. Each stumbling step felt like it brought them closer to a blaster bolt through to chest. She heard him shout out and a bit of blood dropped onto her face and clothes. She was too afraid to check where it came from so she kept dragging him forward.

She screwed her eyes shut and prayed that they would make it safely to the ramp. Each step became harder and harder.

“Keep going Cal we’re nearly there.” Tears rolled down her face. The hopelessness became a dark cloud behind them. Cere was dragging the second sister into the ship as her own feet made contact with the metal of the ramp.

With one final great effort she lurched onto the ship. The door closed and the ship shuddered as it left the surface of the planet. 

They spent hours trying to stabilize The Second Sister. The slash she received was deep. Very deep. When they cut away her clothing to reveal the imperial brands Cere covered her mouth. It was hard to tell in the dim lighting but Chira was almost certain she saw a tear trace down the older woman’s cheek. She remembered the shrieks of pain as the poured disinfectant on her wound. Despite the pain she remained unconscious. 

After what felt like ages of tending to the wounds Chira felt confident the older woman was properly stabilized. The road to recovery would be a long and arduous one but it was not insurmountable. 

Cere had moved the woman into Chira’s room and onto her bed. She tried not to feel angry at that. She did her best to release her feelings into the force. A soft groan brought her attention back to the physical world. Cal was still face down on the floor of the mantis. Blood smeared across the ground along his path towards the second sister. She was afraid of trying to pick him up. Firstly she wasn’t sure if she was actually strong enough to pick him up, secondly she was afraid any manipulation could cause further damage to his body. 

She gently rolled his body over so at the very least he wasn’t bleeding on the floor. She struggled to remove his clothing before pulling a pair of scissors from the med kit and cutting away the thin material as they had for the Second Sister If it weren’t for the massive lightsaber wound across his chest she would have taken the time to admire his body. Broad, toned, the scars caused her heart to clench painfully as she thought of the suffering he’d endured. She shook her head guiltily before returning to treating him.

She felt bad about tranquilizing him, she really did but she also knew it was the best decision for both of them. He had been far too distressed for his own good. She doubted she would have been able to treat him while he was awake.

It took about half the time to treat Cal as it had for the Second Sister. But she also had to worry about his ear and face. She grimaced at the path of the blaster bolt. His ear was now a bloody mangled mess. Parts of his ear hung by threads of skin, a chunk of it was gone, either vaporized or it had fallen off. Her stomached clenched at the though of a piece of Cal’s ear laying in the grass of Bogano. 

While she was treating the burn she couldn’t help but notice the scar on the other side of his face. It was likely from a blaster and very old. She finished her medical evaluation with a deep sigh. She brushed some of the damp hair from his forehead before staring at him in the half light. 

“I see you’ve already patched him up.” Cere’s voice startled her.

“Uh yeah I figured while you were busy with...” calling her the second sister seemed wrong but she wasn’t in the position to call the woman by her first name. “Her. I would get him fixed up as best I could.” The older Jedi nodded gravely. 

“I still see the person he used to be. I know he’s still in there. He’s just hidden behind a mask of pain and darkness.” Chira cocked her head but didn’t remove her gaze from the young mans face. It suddenly hit her how young he really was. When he was awake his scowling made him look older than he was. He may have even been younger than herself. 

“I think I’ll need your help getting him to the back.” Cere nodded moving to his feet and bending to grab his ankles. She moved away from his torso and to his head. She gently worked her hands under his shoulders and lifted on a countdown from Cere.

He groaned in pain but remained unconscious. They carried him back towards the rear of the ship and set him down on the ground below the cot. 

“I think we have a chance to save them Chira, both of them.” She hoped that Cere was right.

It took several hours for Cal to wake up but he did and then so did Trilla and then she went back to sleep apparently because Cal returned to the galley with the now empty plates he had brought for her to eat. 

“How was it?” He shrugged at her question and she frowned.

“I didn’t have any, there wasn’t enough.” 

“Oh.” She quickly stood to make him more when he waved at her then grunted because of the flash of pain he must have felt after disturbing the muscles in his chest. 

“I’m sure there’s something in here.” He then proceeded to rummage through the different cabinets in search of food. A small triumphant laugh caught her attention. “Not exactly what I had in mind but.” When he turned around she saw a large bottle with a label she couldn’t read. In his other hand were a few ration bars.

“What is it?” He smiled slyly.

“Trandoshan liquor.” She raises an eyebrow as he opened the bottle before sniffing it. She saw Merrin tilt her head and scoot closer beside her. 

“Is it strong?” She asked as he scrunched his nose.

“It might be used to strip paint from starships.” He then smiled and grabbed a glass. “You want some?” She hesitated but Merrin did not.

“Get me a glass.” Her accented voice requested from Chira’s left. Cal did as told and set down a third glass in front of Chira despite her weak protest. He then filled each cup with two fingers depth of the clear liquid. 

He rose the glass towards the two girls and they followed suit, Chira a little reluctantly. 

“To surviving another day in this blasted galaxy.” His voice held a bitter edge but she couldn’t blame him. He brought the glass to his lips before suddenly throwing his glass back and allowing the liquid to run down his throat. He lowered the glass exhaling. Merrin copies him but reacted less gracefully. Her face scrunched up as she set the glass down with a clink. 

The two drinkers stared at her and she wondered what it would be like. She never had alcohol in the Jedi temple and she was too afraid of being discovered to try it on Pantora.

She raised her glass and then copied the actions of the other two. There was a sudden burning in her mouth and she barely swallowed before coughing violently. It was like she had dropped burning gasoline into her mouth. She felt the burning travel down her throat before settling into her stomach and then emanating outwards throughout her body.   
“How do you drink this stuff?” She asked incredulously. Cal smirked slightly.

“Five years on Bracca gets you well acquainted with alcohol.” She shook her head at him.

Cal smiled at her and poured another glass for each of them. That happened a few more times. Each time Chira barely swallowed down the liquid. Merrin was now swaying gently in her chair and humming to herself. She didn’t recognize the song but it seemed to comfort the Nightsister. Cal stood unmoving watching her. His face was slightly flushed and his eyes were slightly glassy. 

She was suddenly curious about him. 

“How old are you?” Her normal articulation was difficult when her lips wanted to slur. Merrin still stared at the table but now she was playing with her fingernails.

“I’ll be twenty soon.” She was right he was younger than her. Just barely, but still.

“What’s your favorite color?” she felt like a little kid but she couldn’t help but wonder. His lip quirked up on one side and he thought for a moment. 

“Green.” She nodded as though he had said something deeply philosophical. 

“My favorite color is Red.” Merrin’s voice slurred and she pointed at Cal’s hair. “Like that...” then she seemed to recognize she was wearing a red tunic. “And this.” 

Chira burst out laughing. It was long and much too loud but she couldn’t help it. She leaned against the nightsister as she did to prevent herself from falling. 

Then suddenly she was looking Cal in the eyes and he was closer than before. Leaning over the table she could see deep into his eyes. They were dark pools of emotion. She remembered somewhere she has heard that eyes were the windows to the soul. If that was true Cal’s soul was struggling to survive.

“Are you two going to kiss? Because I would like to be invited.” Merrin’s voice, which had taken on a seductive tone, broke the trance 

“What! Why would we do that?” Merrin laughed as she answered her own question in her head because he’s he’s hotter than Tatooine. Then she realized she had actually said the second part out loud when Merrin laughed even harder.

She felt her skin turning Indigo and Cal leaned back studying her face. Merrin hummed appreciatively.

“She’s not wrong you know. I’ve never been to Tatooine but it must be quite stifling.” Apparently Merrin was quite the flirt while drunk. 

The next several minutes were a blur of drinking, talking and flirting. Well Merrin did most of the flirting, and drinking. She had also deduced that two chairs for two people was entirely unnecessary and was forcing Chira to share the seat with her, sitting almost in Chira’s lap mumbling into her ear. She tried to ignore most of it but what she heard only made the indigo blush deepen as time went on. Suddenly Merrin stood up before kissing Chira on the cheek and then stumbling around to the other side of the table.

She wrapped both arms around Cal’s neck pulled his face towards hers. She held him there for several seconds attacking his face with her mouth. Chira was sure her body temperature raised a few degrees as she watched them. Then Merrin pulled back. Dragging a nail down his uninjured cheek. 

“You know where to find me.” She looked over her shoulder at Chira. “You too. Either of you are welcome. Or both.” With a uncoordinated wink she left the two alone in the galley stumbling back to her room. A couple of dull thuds and giggles told Chira she was having a bit of trouble returning to her room.

“I assume you’ll be sharing a room with her now that Trilla and I are here?” She nodded absentmindedly. “I would be careful when you go to bed tonight. Try to avoid giving her any ideas.” He leaned back over the table again. “Unless that was your goal.” His voice was lower than before. Chira was positive that she must look like a Jogan fruit at this point from her blush. 

She felt herself leaning in closer. Their faces a few inches apart. His large rough hand came up to cup her face. She leaned into it, closing her eyes and her lips parted slightly.

“Goodnight Chira.” Then his hand was gone and he was walking away. She glared at his back as he smugly walked towards the rear of the ship. She grumbled when he was gone, and maybe she spent the night thinking about how close they had been when she drifted to sleep, and maybe she dreamed about soft red hair and calloused hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve decided that for this fic Merrin ain’t gonna mess around. She wants Cal, she wants Chira, she might want everyone. Who knows! Also there’s gonna be some tension coming up between The ladies in Cal’s life ;)


	11. You Will be Tested

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let’s act like it didn’t take me 20 whole days to update this after promising to try harder ;)

When Cal woke up he had a pounding headache. His stomach turned violently and he groaned. His mouth was dry and he was sure he was going to throw up. 

“Ah you’re awake.” Trilla’s voice caused the pounding in his head to intensify. “You seem rather bedraggled.” A very pointed pause set him on edge immediately. “You must have had a very eventful night.” Her voice was sharp, accusatory, and it quickly cut through the fog of his hangover. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He tried to keep his voice neutral but a guarded tone slipped through anyway. He glanced quickly around the room, Preparing himself for the worst as best he could. 

“The walls of this ship are rather thin. I would have to be deaf and senseless to not hear the adolescent tittering of you and your new companions.” She was quite clearly angry at him. For what? Being friendly to the other inhabitants of the ship? As if sensing his thoughts she bit out an insult. “They are not your friends.” Her words were sharp and he flinched at their intensity. “They will simply use you for their desires before casting you aside. I have experienced it. As have you. It’s one of Cere’s favorite pastimes.” He scowled at her angrily.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Her hand shot forward grabbing his face in a vice grip. Her sharp nails digging into the burn on his face. He hissed at the sudden pain but she didn’t release him 

“They don’t care for you like I do Cal.” Her voice had become gentle. Like a mother to their child. “They don’t understand you like I do.” She released her grip before stroking his cheek with one finger down from his cheekbone to his jawline. Her nail finally leaving his brunt flesh. He nearly sighed with the relief it brought. She brought her lips to his, pressing them there forcefully. It was very different from Merrin’s drunken passionate embrace. It felt like she was trying to dominate him. Force him to follow her will. A sharp pain blossomed through his lip and he flinched. Blood poured from a large cut on his lip. Her teeth were crimson with his blood and they seemed to glow in the half light. “They don’t know you Cal. Not like I do.” She leaned back in and licked the freely flowing blood from his lip before smiling sweetly and turning away. He stood doing his best to ignore his rolling stomach and pounding head. When he entered the refresher and looked into the mirror he found himself a mess. His hair was disheveled and his eyes had dark circles underneath them. Not to mention the blood pouring over his mouth and chin dripping into the sink he held a strip of fabric to his lip until the bleeding stopped before quickly showering. The hot water against his neck relieving his headache for a short time. He dressed and left the refresher when the smell of cooking food hit him. 

Cere stood cooking with a scowl on her face. Merrin sat at the table with her head in her hands. Chira has forgone the padding of her hands and had her head resting directly on the table. 

“Sit.” Ceres curt command made him want to scramble for a chair and a few months ago he would have but not anymore. Still for as long as he’d known her he’d never heard her so angry. “Whose idea was this?” He decided he had no intention of being forthcoming with her. 

“Whose idea was what Cere? That’s a rather vague question”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. Don’t play stupid with me.” She raised her voice and the two girls groaned. “Chira, I’m disappointed in you. I had thought you were more responsible than that.” She turned her head towards the Nightsister. “I had high hopes for you as well.” Finally her gaze settled on Cal. “And I think you’re the one who masterminded this little stunt.” Chira looked up guiltily.

“Cere it was my idea.” He whipped his head towards her. Chira’s eyes were slightly glassy. Clearly upset about disappointing her mentor.

Just as Cere opened her mouth to scold again Cal decided that he wouldn’t leave her to take responsibility for this .

“Stop. I can handle myself.” He paused considering his words. “It was my idea, I felt like having fun.” He shrugged nonchalantly. 

Cere glared even harder clearly trying to intimidate him further. But he realized he had experienced far worse than the disappointed gaze of an aging woman. 

“Why don’t you do something useful and finish our food instead of trying to stare me down.” Her eyebrows shot up in surprise and anger. “Anytime today would be nice. The girls look like they could use it.” She turned away angrily before focusing back on the food. 

She set plates down in front of each with a clatter. The noise bounced around in his head but he didn’t let it show. The other two however groaned at the sound. Food was distributed onto the plates and Cere turned away from them before grabbing another plate to bring to Trilla. Cal watched with smug satisfaction at Cere’s retreating form.

“How did you ladies sleep?” His confidence from the interaction with Cere filtered into his voice. Merrin responded with another groan. Chira responded with a weak negative answer. “You must’ve been a little lonely huh Merrin?”

“Shut up Cal.” Her voice held no real spite and he could see the small smile through her hands. 

“I mean you practically begged me to join you last night.” She laughed brightly and he felt some of his headache fade with the sound.

They ate the food and though at first it was hard to force it down, by the end of the meal he was feeling remarkably better. 

“We’re stopping to pick up supplies. Cal you’re coming with me where I can keep an eye on you.” He mock saluted Cere and he could all but feel her glare on him. “Chira I want you to come as well. We may need some extra hands. Merrin I want you to watch the ship with Greez.” What she really meant was protect Greez from Trilla but Cal didn’t bother to correct her.

Whatever planet they stopped at was a dump. Rampant poverty, no technological centers and low industry. It also didn’t help the cities were ninety percent slums. Still it was nice to be stretching his legs and to have (relatively) fresh air in his lungs. He was dressed in a dark jumpsuit from his time on the mantis. It felt slightly reassuring to be wearing something that wasn’t connected with his time in the Fortress Inquisitorius. 

They walked through the crowded streets. Cere was currently carrying the medical supplies they had just picked up Chira had offered to carry it but she had declined. Likely so that Chira could defend her in case of attack. Next on the list was food. Just as Cere began to haggle with a merchant Cal felt a warning echo through the force. 

He looked up Chira just half a second behind. He scanned the crowd around their group. There! Off to the left a flash of white. He pressed closer to Chira breathing in her ear.

“Stormtroopers on our left. They’re looking for something... probably me.” She nodded turning to tell Cere. 

He grabbed her hand and pulled her away before she could warn her. A twinge of pain shooting through his chest when he tugged on her arm.

“They’re coming this way. Cere will be fine they won’t be looking for her.” He tugged her closer, slinging an arm around her waist and dragging her through the twisting streets he stopped pulling her into an alcove created by two outcroppings. He flipped up his hood pressing Chira against the wall and out of sight of the troopers.

“Do you trust me?” She nodded and he lowered his head to hers. Their lips met and he pushed her further against the wall with his body. He felt the cut on his lip split open in the kiss. She sighed against his mouth just as He heard the rattling of the duraplast armor over his shoulder. One of the troopers laughed and let out a whistle. The noise was followed by a hollow thunk and a reprimand.

“Pay attention trooper, we don’t have time for you to get off watching the locals.” He didn’t pull away even as the sounds of the stormtroopers faded into the buzz of the city. He slipped his tongue into her mouth and she sighed again. Then suddenly she began to push at his shoulders. He drew back slowly. Her face was flushed and her chest was heaving. A combination of the fear of discovery and the thrill of the kiss. He knew he was breathing heavily as well but he had a better control over it.

“We should um-“ her breath hitched as he brushed a strand of her hair away from her face. “We uh need to get back t- to the ship.” She was a stuttering mess and her blush only deepened as she struggled to speak. 

“Why was the kiss that bad?” He knew it wasn’t an ideal time but he couldn’t help but tease her. 

“No! I mean i-it wasn’t bad at all. Ugh I-“ he he brushed his thumb across her mouth wiping a small spot of his blood off of her top lip and she cut herself off.

“That’s actually a good idea. Let’s go.” They set off and he once again wrapped an arm around her waist even though it wasn’t strictly necessary. still she had yet to complain and it was rather comforting to have her tucked against his side.

Security had been ramped up since they had left the Mantis. It took them nearly three times as long to return as it had when they left. It seemed like ever other block they had to duck into alleyways and turn onto different streets. Thankfully they never got lost in the labyrinth disguised as a city. 

When they finally arrived in the landing zone they broke apart and climbed the ramp into the Mantis.

“Where have you two been?!” Cere’s angry voice was the first thing to greet them when they entered the ship. “There were Stormtroopers everywhere.” He nodded.

“Yeah that’s why we broke off. So that they wouldn’t find us.” He saw Merrin on the couch near the Holo-table. She raised an eyebrow at the two of them before smiling knowingly. 

Trilla it seemed had been moved from the back room into the main Galley she sat stiffly, away from the back of the seat. She also glared at Cal and he discreetly stepped away from Chira. 

“You should’ve warned me. I turned around and you were both gone. For all I knew you had been captured.” He rolled his eyes at her nagging. She bristled angrily but said nothing. 

He strolled towards the unoccupied couch before plopping down on it kicking his feet onto the table in front of it. He sighed and closed his eyes. 

“Well we’ve got what we need let’s go before the Stormtroopers decide to check out the ships docked on this hell hole.” 

“Kids gotta point Cere. It’ll only be a matter of time before they come check out any ships, and the Mantis ain’t exactly conspicuous anymore.” Greez wrung his four arms nervously. The former Jedi nodded and Greez waddled to the cockpit to begin take off procedures. 

Chira sat down next to Merrin. She kept glancing up at Trilla. Clearly uncomfortable in her presence. 

He sighed as he leaned back further into the seat. His chest was starting to burn from the exertion of the day. He popped his neck and closed his eyes as the ship jumped into hyperspace. 

There was something eerie about the sort of silence that filled a ship during hyperspace. It seemed to muffle out all forms of sound. His breathing slowed and he felt a familiar pull of the force. He felt like his body was falling and he suddenly jerked as if he had hit the ground. His eyes shot open and he was breathing heavily. His eyes shot around the room warily. Trilla was gone. Chira was slumped against Merrin in a deep slumber. Merrin however was looking intently towards him. 

“You were not asleep yet you were also not awake. A form of limbo, how is that?” He ran a slightly shaky hand through his hair. 

“It’s uh meditating I guess, it wasn’t intentional and it’s something I haven’t done in a long time.” She hummed lightly in response, satisfied with his vague answer.

“Can you help me move her? I don’t want her sleeping on this couch. It is a poor place to rest.” He nodded sighing as he stood up. He slipped an arm beaneath her arm and around her back. His other arm snaked under her knees. He slowly lifted until she was fully in his arms, she shifted slightly turning into his chest and murmuring. He turned towards the end of the ship. Merrin stepped in front of him and led the way. 

“Well you are certainly making my job easier. I had intended we both carry her but this seems more effective.” He scoffed and she smiled at him over her shoulder. The door to their room slid open and she stepped aside to let him in patting him briefly on the shoulder before following him into the room. 

A bunk bed was shoved against the bulkhead on one side of the room. On the other there were two sets of drawers and a small desk. The bottom bunk was rumpled and held a few blankets. The top bunk wasn’t visible from where he stood. 

“Where do you want her?” She tapped her chin. When he asked 

“She normally sleeps up top but it would be rather challenging to get her up there. Set her on my bed.” She pointed at the bottom bunk. He complied setting the Pantoran down as gently as possible. She curled up into one of the blankets and sighed in her sleep. 

“What is your end goal Cal?” He raised an eyebrow at her. 

“I don’t have one outside of surviving.”

“Then what is her end goal.” She nodded at the wall towards where Trilla was likely located. He sighed rubbing his face as a headache was starting to form. He leaned back against the desk, his hands gliding over the smooth surface.

“Honestly, I haven’t got the slightest clue about what she wants, much less how it would pertain to me.” She titled her head at his response.

“You are not together then?” He laughed slightly.

“It’s complicated Merrin.” She smiled slightly.

“Yes I gathered that.” She leaned against the desk beside him. Her body only a few inches from his. “So if you aren’t together why is she so protective over you?” 

“I wish I could give you answer, maybe she feels guilty about what she did to me. Maybe she really does care about, or maybe she’s deluded herself into thinking she does care about me and has developed some sort of obsession over me. Which means she sees you two as a threat.” She nodded slowly seeming to be satisfied with that explanation.

“So what took you and Chira so long to get back to the ship? Did you take a detour?” Her voice held a teasing edge at her end and he looked down at her.

“Maybe we did. Why are you so curious all of the sudden?” She jutted our her chin at him defiantly. Her brown eyes sparkled with amusement which betrayed her good mood.

“Maybe I wanted to be apart of a detour today. It was rather boring watching the Inquisitor glare at Greez every time he breathed too loudly.” He smiled and titled his head slightly.

“Are you jealous Merrin?” She smiled and shrugged one shoulder. 

“So what if I am?” He raised one hand to her neck. He gently pulled her face closer to his own. Their lips were close enough that her breath tickled his bottom lip. 

“Then you’ll have to work harder than that.” He pulled back just as she pushed forward to connect their mouths. She narrowed her eyes at him.

“That is cruel Cal. But I accept your challenge. Now leave so that I can change clothes.” He smiled mischievously and stepped closer again. 

“Now why would I want to leave after you tell me that.” She raised an eyebrow as a smile fought to overcome her annoyed expression

“Out.” She pushed him towards the door as she said it and he willingly left the room but not before winking in her direction. The door slid shut as she rolled her eyes at him. 

He returned to the couch in the main galley. He didn’t want to argue with Trilla again. Besides the couch was more comfortable than the floor despite Merrin’s opinion on it. So after balling his poncho up and placing it behind his head he thought about everything that had happened in the last year. It was really quite sobering to realize how much he had gone through. He heard Greez approach him through the dark cloud in his mind.

“You know kid... it’s good to have you back. I know Cere doesn’t make you feel too comfortable but still I missed you and I was worried about you while you were gone.”   
He stared at the ceiling as something in his chest squeezed uncomfortably.

“Thanks Greez. I appreciate it.” It was hard to keep his voice level. Especially with the way his throat seemed to be swelling closed. He swallowed thickly as the Latero waddled away.

He was glad things had gone the way they had on Dathomir. Cal didn’t think he could live with himself if they hadn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t be afraid to comment I try to respond to most of them :)
> 
> Instagram: alec.ratt


	12. You’re Still Struggling With the Dark Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy Shit I’m not even gonna try to say that I will try better because I know it work. The only reason this chapter got finished before the New year is because someone (you know who you are ;) )DMed me on Instagram telling me I should write more which reminded me people actually care about this! I hope you guys like it 
> 
> Instagram: alec.ratt

Chapter 12  
——————————————-  
Trilla Mantis - Hutt Space  
——————————————-

She stood on slightly shaking legs, her muscles had atrophied slightly after so long of disuse and malnourishment. Not that she had gone hungry out of necessity. There had been plenty for her to eat, however she refused more than half of it. To become dependent on others would be a sign of weakness. Besides, she had gone longer on far less. When hunting Cal she only ate once every three standard days. Hunger made her sharp and mean. She glared at the sleeping form of the redhead. He was on the couch, dressed in his old clothing. He looked much the same as he did before. Before he had been quenched into a hardened, brittle, monster. By the Fortress. Monster. For some reason the word was stuck in her head. Constantly lurking. It’s what she had been, perhaps what she still was. He had been lucky. The process could still be reversed. She however knew it was too late for herself. She had been tainted, ruined. Broken.

He breathed in deeply through his nose. He tried rolling over and promptly fell off into the floor. She raised an incredulous eyebrow.

“Ow shit.” He rubbed his shoulder before sitting up against the couch. Now that he was awake she could still see who he used to be. Now though it was hidden in its place by his new self. Not the one haphazardly forged in the Inquisitorius. No something delicately assembled. Something fragile, she saw the lines in his forehead. The dark rings under his eyes. The tightness in his muscles. He was fighting. Nothing he learned felt right, felt real. He was in constant war with himself. She was wrong, he would never be able to return to the way things were, any attempt would be a weak facsimile of normalcy. 

Each too loud sound, every gentle touch. It would haunt him. She felt a slight pang in her chest. The feelings they felt weren’t genuine, they both knew that. They were reactionary, based upon the drastic chemical reactions formed by the shared trauma. Intense emotions they deluded theirselves into believing were for each other. Still that didn’t mean they weren’t real. He deserved better than what she could give him. Yet she couldn’t bring herself to let him go. He deserved someone who truly cared for him. Someone who wanted him to be just as happy as they were. Someone who could put him back together. It wasn’t her. All she could ever do was tear him back apart and then kick at the pieces. 

She approached him. Her steps that of a lethal predator. He still had his lightsaber. They hadn’t tried taking it yet. But she could. She could steal it and leave never to come back. He could begin a healing process. One of those girls could be there for him like she never could. 

She reached out and gently ran her hand over his shoulder. He sighed into her touch and she rubbed circles into the stiff muscles. There was a strange sense of finality to the gesture. She could feel something looming in the force. Something sinister. 

“Cal.” He hummed at her voice. “I need to tell you, I-I.” She huffed pressing her hands to her eyes. This would be harder than she thought. 

“Trilla, what is it?” The way he said her name always made her forget all the horrible things that had happened, she could pretend she was normal. That they both were, that what they felt was honest and good. 

“I’m sorry for all of it Cal. Everything you went through from me. Vader, the Fortress, killing your friend on Bracca.” He stiffened at the last part. She had never even learned the Abednedo’s name. She had never cared before. He didn’t respond.

“I think it’s time for-“. Cere entered the galley in a huff.

“Ah Cal good, we need to make a stop, I’m calling in some favors with old contacts, we’re gonna find somewhere to lay low for a bit but we’ll need help first.” She felt his sigh more than she heard it.

“Alright where are we stopping?” 

“Nar Shadaa.” His head shot up and he turned towards her, Trilla scooted out of the way so he could see the older woman.

“I- someone on Nar Shadaa owes me a favor, a big one, I could cash it in and find somewhere safe.” Trilla raised her eyebrows just marginally slower than Cere did.

“You’d do that?” Her voice was reverent, disbelieving. Cal only nodded slightly. “Thank you Cal, this means more than you could know.” 

Trilla wondered how Cere could be so painfully oblivious, she knew the reason Cal offered, it had nothing to do with her, no it was about the two young women still sleeping down the hall. She felt a spike of irritation briefly flood her mind. Then she felt it dissipate, had this not been what she wished for him only minutes ago?

Cal rose stiffly before offering Trilla a hand. She accepted it with only a moment of hesitation. She felt a desire for that uncomplicated touch. She wished she could replicate it. However her wishes were for naught, her mind too far tainted by the empire’s tinkering to feel the same as she once had. Still perhaps she could pretend.

A scuff of a shoe followed by the light bubbling of conversation brought her attention to the hallway. The two girls entered the galley speaking softly to one another.

“So what’s going on? I heard cere earlier.” The Pantoran asked with a slight tilt to her head. Trilla felt a churning in her stomach, she was adorable, persuasive without trying. She could have men wrapped around her finger bending to her will and she would never know it. 

“We’re stopping on Nar Shadaa. I’ve got a contact there who can find us a new hole in the ground.” Trilla couldn’t decide yet if Cal was one of the men to be controlled yet. The girl smiled sweetly at him before plopping down on the couch nearby. The Nightsister followed suit, but not before brushing against the redhead and dragging a fingernail under his chin as she passed him. 

That caused a angry flare deep in her bones. She wanted to grab that finger and break it. But she knew that had no pleasant consequences. Nightsister Magicks were not something to be trifled with. Still she glared at her all the same. 

“So how much exactly does this contact owe you?” The accented voice of the Dathomirian siren questioned. 

“A lot.”

——————————-  
Chira Nar Shadaa  
——————————-

The cantina Chira found herself in would not have been her first choice, in fact dark, dreary and pungent would have been a polite and generous description. But according to Cal this was exactly the type of place his contact would be. That was all he had told them, she had no idea what he looked like or even what his name was. Still she scanned the patrons as she followed Cal to the bar. She was not a judgmental person, really she wasn’t, but she found it difficult not to be incredibly judgmental of this crowd. Many of them looked like criminals and slime balls. Most of them smelled like far worse. 

“I’m looking for Tabbers.” Cal’s voice cut through her thoughts and the bartender, a Gran, blinked three eyes lazily at them. 

“Who’s asking.” The bartender had a grating voice that sounded very unfriendly. She sensed his hand settle on something below the bar, a blaster if she had to guess. 

“An old coworker, tell him that I’m done soaking on Bracca.” The Gran narrowed his eyes suspiciously but nodded his head over Cal’s shoulder. There a table was tucked into the back corner with several people at it. 

Cal turned on his heel and strode purposefully towards it. The group was playing a game of Sabaac but everyone at the table looked up at his arrival. It was a Tan skinned Quarren man who spoke first

“Cal Kestis, and here I thought you were dead.” The Qaurrens mouth warbled strangely, he only had three tentacles which must have put him off balance. “Heard about a collapse, holonet said 9 dead, all crew 288, you were on that list, so was Prauf.” Cal’s jaw tightened, whoever this Prauf person they clearly meant something to Cal. 

“Clearly you’re misinformed cause I’m standing right here.” 

A Twi’lek woman set down her cards and fluttered her eyelashes towards Cal.

“Tabby you never told us you had such a handsome friend.” Chira felt a strange sort of flare in her stomach at that, but she didn’t say anything, Cal never broke eye contact with the Quarren. 

“Sit, play a hand, have a drink.” he waved his arm towards someone behind their backs and a moment later a tray was set down with two small glasses of some green liquid. Cal picked up the shot glass and downed it like he had the Trandoshan Liquor. Chira picked up the other and drank. It wasn’t as strong but left a sour taste in her mouth and burned on the way down. She knew she made a face because some of the table patrons laughed. 

“You got yourself one of those inner rim girls there huh Cal?”

Chira looked around for a chair, she felt rather awkward standing and even though she didn’t know how to play Sabaac she felt very out of place above the table. A human sitting near at the edge of the booth patted his thigh. 

“You can sit right here if you want darling.” His smile sent a shiver down her back. She shook her head and his brow furrowed, he was clearly not a man used to rejection. His hand shot out and grabbed her wrist. “Please, I insist.” He pulled her towards him and she struggled to hold her ground. Until suddenly the grip on her wrist was gone. 

She saw Cal beside her, his fist curled into the mans collar, he had him pressed into the back cushion of the booth. When he spoke his voice was low and dangerous but it carried clearly in the sudden silence of the Cantina.

“If you ever touch her again, I will kill you.” The mans eyes flared angrily. When Cal let go of him he reached for his blaster. “Think about what you’re about to do. Think long and hard. If you start this fight you will lose.” 

“Yeah, and why’s that.” He scoffed 

“Because I don’t lose fights. If you start one I will win, and then after I’ve won I will kick you while you are down. Because I can. Because you are less than the muck on my boots. I will kick you where it hurts the most and everyone in here will remember you as the pathetic lump on the ground begging me for mercy.” 

Chira wasn’t sure what made the threat so disturbing. Maybe it was the absolute calm in Cal’s voice. Or the fact his eyes held nothing in them. They may as well have been made of glass. Still there was a moment where neither moved. Chira could sense the fear in the man. He knew Cal wasn’t bluffing. So he averted his eyes. Slowly the noises of the cantina picked up again. 

“Why are you here Cal? Other than to make my friends here piss themselves.” His joke was clearly meant to calm the tensions but it was clear he was unsettled by Cal. 

“You owe me Tabbers.” The Quarren snarled.

“And you think you can cash that in after 2 years of nothing?” Cal’s eyes narrowed dangerously.

“If it weren’t for me you would have been food for the Maw. Remember when the munitions went off in the Resilience I dragged you from underneath that collapsed bridge and brought you to safety.” There was a long pause. “How did you repay me Tabbers?” The Quarren looked down in shame. “You told the others that I was the reason the unused ammunition set off. You told them it was my fault that we all lost 6 months of pay and three riggers.” The silence became downright oppressive at that point. “And then you sat by and watched as they beat a fifteen year old boy into a coma. You remember that dont you?” 

Chirra felt disgusted at the thought of this man. She was close enough to Cal that all it took to touch his hand with her own was the slightest twitch. His skin was warm, but the scars on his hands from his time as an inquisitor sent icy chills down her spine. She felt his hand respond barely as his knuckles brushed over hers below the line of sight of the gamblers seated in front of them.

“What do you need.” The quarrels warbling voice was nearly imperceptible. 

“I need somewhere safe to hide. Somewhere that won’t be easily found.”

“You looking for a long honeymoon with your girl there Kestis?” The table laughed crudely.

“Doesn’t matter just give me a location.” 

The Quarren grabbed a pen and scrap of paper before jotting down something.

“Meet me there in 2 hours and I’ll give you a location.” Cal grabbed the scrap before nodding once. He turned away and as he took a step the Twi’lek called out. 

“Sure you don’t wanna stay? We could have some fun if your girlfriend don’t mind sharing. Chira felt herself blush at the Twi’leks suggestion and she darkened even further when she felt cal grab her hand before pulling her towards the exit. Their fingers entwined and the woman behind them grumbled as they snaked their way through the crowd. 

——  
It turned out that the meeting place was a beat down old scrap yard she could feel a sense of apprehension rolling off of Cal. 

“What’s wrong?” His eyes darted between the stacks of parts and ships. Dimly reflecting the bright neon signage around them. 

“Just brings back some bad memories is all.” She reached out to gently squeeze his hand before footsteps echoed down the twisted towers of metal. 

“What’s wrong Cal? Thought you and your girlfriend would want some privacy.” Tabbers stood a dozen paces away with three others at his side. Chirra recognized the man who’d grabbed her. As well as two others from the gambling table. 

“I don’t think that bringing your friends really counts as privacy.” He laughed then and Chirra heard more footsteps as well as clattering from all around them. The sounds echoed off the stacks making it difficult to judge numbers. 

“Then you aren’t about to like this next part.” 

“So after everything you’ve done to me you’re gonna kill me now is that it?” The Quarren shook his head tiredly.

“It’s not personal Cal I know what you are. Your kind turned on us and plunged the Galaxy into chaos. So now I’m returning the favor. It was at that moment a group of stormtroopers appeared at every escape route. “I’ll see you around Cal!” The Quarren then turned on his heel and began to walk away. 

And then the first shot rang out. Cal’s outstretched arm pointed towards a trooper whose whole body had been yanked towards Tabbers and his blaster now smoked in the low light. The Quarren himself lay face down in the muddy street with a small Schoenberg mark in the center of his chest. The next moment Cal dragged her behind cover and the whine of blaster fire filled the air. 

She should’ve known it was a trap. For some reason her senses hadn’t warned her. Nor apparently had Cal’s and now here they were being surrounded by storm troopers. Just the two of them. No way to get backup. Cal ignited his lightsaber, it’s crimson blade sinisterly lighting his face. He stood and faced the troopers nearest to them raising his blade as the first shots rang out reflecting them back towards their source. Many met their mark in the chests and heads of their origin point. Just as she ignited her own sabers the first group of troopers reached Cal, he swung the blade in a leisurely sweep at waist level effortlessly slicing a trooper in half. In the follow through of the motion he sunk the blade deep into the chest of another who crumpled to their knees with a wet gurgling sound. Throwing out his hand a Stormtrooper was thrown back into a strut of metal becoming impaled. A low groan carried to her ears along with the sound of dripping blood. He continued forward into the throng without a seconds glance. 

Five troopers moved towards him clearly hoping to overwhelm him. However his hand raised and two of the stormtroopers were slammed into each other with a crack. One swung an electro staff as he came into range which was parried as if it were a child swinging a stick, the trooper thrown off balance stumbeled backwards out of reach of Cal’s lethal blade. The other trooper was not as lucky when cal swung the saber behind him. A scream echoed between the stacks of scrap as an arm hit the ground. The last storm trooper bouncing on his feet to avoid the swinging blade. He was surprisingly agile and was able to step barely out of the way of each strike. Each dodge accompanied with a fearful gasp.  
His friend finally recovered and charged Cal from behind Chirra opened her mouth to warn Cal when suddenly he stepped to the side his blade remained in place, still pointing towards the last stormtrooper. She saw a brief flash of red and surged forward thinking it was a blaster bolt. Suddenly though she saw the trooper behind Cal crumple to the ground. A single scorch mark in his stomach. Cal finished off the final trooper with a lunge which slid past the troopers shoulder before he swung the blade to the side directly though the neck of the trooper. His helmet slipped from his shoulders, bounced once on the dingy street, and then rolled away as his shortened body crumpled to the ground after a short moment. 

“He’s unstoppable!” 

“Fall back!”

The fearful shouts from the normally stoic stormtroopers sent a shiver down her spine. Cal strode onward kicking a severed arm to clear his path towards the remaining storm troopers. Chirra followed in the wake of destruction carefully stepping over the smoking, bloody bodies. She contemplated retracting her lightsabers since Cal seemed to have everything perfectly under control but decided to err on the side of caution for the moment. Ahead, Cal tossed his saber underhanded past a terrified storm trooper who dropped his blaster in terror. As Cal drew level with the poor soul he swiftly punched him in the face and he dropped like a rock. His armor clattering against the duracrete. The saber which had become stuck in the chest of Cals target flashed again and the secondary blade ignited for a split second catching another troopers arm and severing it at the forearm. The saber suddenly wrenched itself free and shot through the air into Cal’s open hand.

“It isn’t too late to run!” Cal’s voice echoed between the scrap with a unsettling almost insane ring. A few troopers tried to heed his advice. But as they turned to run they were suddenly frozen before being dragged backwards. One came tumbling through the air before intercepting Cal’s saber swing. The other fought desperately against the backwards pull before his legs were torn out from under him and his chin slammed into the street. His fingers clawing desperately against the duracrete as he was dragged screaming towards his demise. Cal held his saber Tip down as the trooper was drawn over the ground. When they connected the blade cut from between the troopers legs all the way into his sternum before Cal spun it back into its normal orientation.

The remaining enemies stood shaking with their blasters pointed. Cal stalked forward but Chirra grabbed his arm.

He swung around towards her, fury in his eyes. His lips parted with a growl and he almost didn’t look human anymore.

“Cal. They aren’t fighting back anymore. What you’re doing isn’t right. He glared at Chirra for a few second more before he seemed to finally understand her words. His saber retracted and he returned it to his belt. She sighed in relief before deactivating her own sabers. Feeling slightly relieved they hadn’t taken a single life today. 

One of the troopers still raised a shaking blaster as you drew level with him. Cal simply reached out and slapped it away never breaking his stride. A slight whimper made it through the voice modulator of the helmet. suddenly each body of white plastioid felt very human. 

Stepping over the mangled bodies of stormtroopers Chirra felt the burn of bile rising in her throat. Ahead of her Cal walked straighter and more confidently. Almost with pride. When they cleared the street he turned back to her. His face was blank as if he hadn’t slaughtered nearly a dozen people. 

“What in the Fuck was that!” Her voice was shrill even to her own ears. She was afraid. He reached out to cup her cheek and she flinched. He held his hands up palms towards her in a show of submission after relcipping his lightsaber to his belt. 

“Chira I-“ she shook her head violently.

“Nothing you can say will justify that.” He sighed then, deeply. The neon signs around them flashing lit part of his face. The other half remained in the shadow.

“I know.” She wanted him to disagree, to argue that he wasn’t in control, that he was just suffering from what had happened to him on Nur. But he didn’t, it was the first time she truly felt afraid of Cal. “But Chira... I won’t hurt you.” Her eyes burned with unshed tears. Wether they were for the lives lost, his confession, or just because everything seemed to be pressing down on her these last few weeks, she wasn’t sure. 

“Cal.” Her voice was shakier than she wanted it to be. “You need help.” Another weary sigh.

“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At one point during the fight scene I realized I’d accidentally switched to a First Person Perspective. I think I got them all but if not let me know and I’ll try to fix it


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been one year since I fist starting writing, and wow I’ve come a long way. I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season and I hope you like the new chapter. Thank you guys so much for being so encouraging and supportive of my work. It means the world to me. <3

—————————-  
Cal Nar Shadaa  
—————————-  
The walk back to the Mantis was silent except for the echoing of their feet on the surprisingly empty street. Garbage littered the ground, only partially hidden by the darkness. 

Despite her horror in the junkyard Chira stood close to him on the vacant street. He wished that he had felt the same disgust at his actions that Chira had. He didn’t. He didn’t feel good about upsetting Chira but he felt nothing about what he had done to the stormtroopers. Deep in his mind it felt like retribution

Eventually they joined a small crowd that flowed in the direction of the mantis. Chira stood even closer now, their bodies pressed together by the jostling crowd. 

After dragging themselves out of the current of the crowd they made it to the landing pad of the Mantis. With the ship powered down it reminded him of an ancient beast slumbering, he stepped more quietly to avoid disturbing it. 

“Get out of my way Cere!” He jumped slightly at the shout that echoed on the landing pad. The ramp of the Mantis was lowered and a figure strode down. Trilla carried a bag on one shoulder and was wearing traveling clothes. She looked just like any other spacer except for the scowl on her face. 

“Trilla? What’s going on?” He hated how weak his voice sounded because he knew exactly what was going on. The scowl slowly faded from her face replaced by a look of guilt. 

“I didn’t expect you back so soon.”

“You’re leaving.” It clearly wasn’t a question but she answered anyways. 

“I am.” He swallowed back the lump building in his throat. 

“And you were going to leave without saying goodbye?” His voice cracked slightly towards the end.

“It’s the only way Cal, I don’t belong here it-“

Something red hot burned in his stomach at that.

“And you think I belong here! Everyday is like waking up from a nightmare and knowing when you go back to sleep you’ll just fall right back in where you left off!” His eyes burned and blurred from the emotion building in him. “I’ve never left, and I haven’t forgotten what happened in there... don’t act like you’re the only one who doesn’t belong.” He stepped forward until they were even, his chest was tight with emotion. “I haven’t forgotten what you did Trilla.” He stepped past her and up onto the Mantis.

Chira stayed back for a moment and murmured something to Trilla before following him up the ramp. After a short moment Trilla’s footsteps started up again and got quieter as she put distance between herself and the Mantis.

He dropped onto the nearest seat dropping his head into his hands. A soft hand settled hesitantly on his shoulder. 

“Cal I-“ 

“Chira, please, I just want to be alone right now.” Her hand lingered for a moment before it slid off of his shoulder and she took a step before turning back.

“I’m here when you want to talk.” Her lips pressed to the top of his head briefly before she left. 

He sighed slowly, pressing the heels of his hands sharply into his eyes. 

“Fuck.”  
——

It was a few hours before the ship left Nar Shaddaa, as the lights from the planet blurred together into lines and smears he felt a stone settling deep in his stomach. Things between he and Trilla would never be the same. 

A few minutes later Greez stopped a few feet away from him.

“Hey uh, Cal. I’m sorry to bother you but Cere wants us all to talk in the back. About what’s gonna happen, cause we got a few problems.” He smiled a little despite himself at the Latero’s nervous ramblings.

“Thank you Greez. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” The Latero nodded again nervously before he waddled away. 

Cal took a few deep breaths to center himself before turning and walking back to the room where Trilla once stayed.

“We have just enough fuel to make a jump then drift for a few days to the nearest refueling station. That’s if we continue as we are night now.” Cere was solemn and precise in her language. 

“What’s our other option?” Chira asked with a hint of confusion in her voice.

“We can shut off our auxiliary power, it’ll be cold and unpleasant but-“ her voice faded into the background replaced by a high pitched ringing in his ears. He stared fixedly at a small neat pile of folded clothes, Trilla’s Inquisitor uniform, he felt the room spin around him and he felt light headed. Suddenly he was snapped back to reality by a soft touch at his shoulder. 

“Cal? What do you think?” He looked down into Chiras Golden eyes. 

“If we have to choose between some cold or floating for days with no control I’m choosing the cold.” 

“It’s agreed then, Captain shut off auxiliary power and jump as close as we can get. We’ll still have to drift for about a day but we should be much better off then if we kept on the power.” Greez and Cere left the room.

After a few minutes the room went dark and the gentle humming of the ship decreased to just the engine. 

The life support system would keep them from freezing to death but they would be far from comfortable. 

It wasn’t long after the power was cut that his breath began fogging in front of his face and His fingers felt stiff. With heaters it was easy to forget just how cold space really was. He got to his feet and paced back and forth between the cockpit and step up into the kitchen. Eventually he stopped and turned towards the window.

He stood staring out at the gently twinkling stars from the cockpit window, as far as the eye could see there were millions of astronomical bodies glittering, rotating, and pulsating. He breathed in slowly, a feeling of peace washed over him. He had seen space hundreds of times throughout his life and yet somehow this time it nearly overwhelmed him with its beauty. 

Soft footfalls broke the silence through the ship. 

“I had never realized there were so many before.” Merrin stepped into his periphery just to his left. She was wrapped up in several sets of blankets 

“Stars?” He saw her nod slowly.

“On Dathomir the fog concealed all but the brightest of stars. Those that shined through had stories. Now for there to be so many and none that I know... it makes me feel small.”

“I used to feel the same. Like everything I did had no impact on the cosmic scale, that life was nonexistent in the scale of the universe. But ever since Nur. I realized something.” He paused long enough for Merrin to apparently become impatient.

“And what was that?” Her voice was almost a whisper in the cold cockpit her breath visible from between her lips. 

“That no matter how small and insignificant I feel while staring at the stars, that our sentience makes us able to appreciate the beauty of those stars like nothing else can. And sometimes that makes it alright.” 

He felt her move closer and lay her head on his shoulder. Her fingers entwined with his own and they both stared out at the stars. 

He felt her shiver beside him before she pressed even closer.

“It was never so cold on Dathomir. I can barely move my fingers, but you are warm.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders pulling her tight into his body. “You cannot sleep out here on the couch. You will freeze to death.”

“Are you trying to get me into your bed?” 

“If I were trying to seduce you I would be wearing fewer blankets.”

But you still want to share a bed with you huh?”

“Chira has already agreed to share with me, you can take the extra bed to avoid turning into a icicle.” Her tone was serious but the small smile on her lips betrayed that 

“You pose a convincing argument. I think it would be rude of me to decline your generous offer.” He turned his head to look at her and they locked eyes. He turned his body towards her, both maintaining the close contact. He tilted his head down slightly and their lips met. It lacked the drunken passion of their first kiss but it was far more intimate. When they broke apart they leaned their foreheads together, breathing the same air.

“Bwoop?” He turned towards the slightly scandalized droid. 

“Hey Beedee has Chira been taking good care of you?

“Wee bop!” He laughed softly at the droids enthusiastic response.

“That’s good to hear. Why don’t you lead the way we’re just about to head back there.” The droid spun about, trilling loudly and launching a stim into the air before catching it back in his head. 

Merrin grabbed hold of his hand before following the droid leading Cal behind her.

“I do not know how you understand what that droid is saying.” The little light in the ship made her face turned back over her shoulder appear to be glowing. 

He meant to say that she would learn if she spent some time with him. But what left his mouth was totally different. 

“You’re so incredibly beautiful.” The smile that lit up her face made him realize it was what he really wanted to tell her in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters a little shorter than normal, lemme know what you think About Trilla leaving the Mantis and thank you all for your incredible patience. I’m thinking in the future I might expand my writing to the Mandalorian or maybe even Squadrons because that game is so much fun.


End file.
